Girls often wonder how they should reach out to a guy first on dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, or Match.
How should girls text first on Tinder?
Girls should text first on Tinder by sending a simple message that starts a friendly and intelligent conversation. Most guys will appreciate and respond to any message from a girl. For the best results, say something more than “Hi”. Mention something from a guy’s profile or offer a compliment.
In this article, I’ll cover everything you need to know about how girls should text first on Tinder.
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How Should Girls Text First on Tinder? (5 Helpful Tips)
Honestly, most guys will be so delighted to receive your message, they will not care exactly what you say.
However, if you want a better chance with a guy, follow these five good tips.
1) Mention Something in His Profile
When you mention something in his profile, you show him that you read his bio and looked at more than his main photo.
This shows interest and attraction—guys love that!
If you want to know the best thing to say in a Tinder opening, just mention something from his bio or photos.
For example: “I love your picture with the dog in Paris!” or “I always wanted to do a bike tour of Barcelona! Where should I start?”
2) Say Something Funny
The few girls who do text first usually write something dry and boring like, “Hey” or “What’s up?”
Most guys could never get away with an opening like that.
If you can come up with something funny, go for it. It shows your personality, makes you stand out, and will get a guy grinning from ear to ear.
For example: “Are you a beaver? Cuz Dam you look good ;)!” or “Have you ever been dragged over hot coals by wild horses? If not, count yourself lucky.”
As you can see, the message doesn’t even have to make sense.
It’ll probably make him laugh and respond quickly.
3) Compliment Him
“You have gorgeous eyes” or “I love your sense of humor” will go a long way with a guy.
Most guys receive very few compliments.
In fact, many guys I know go months or years without a single non-work-related compliment.
Unlike women, guys lap up almost any genuine compliment about their looks, style, humor, or other personality traits.
4) Be Direct
This is not the time to be coy or play vague mind games.
If you want to talk to that guy, go ahead and say so. For example: “I like your pictures” or “I’d like to chat more.”
A classic mistake many girls make is playing so hard to get or so mysterious that guys have no idea how to interpret their subtle signs.
The better approach is to be direct, show your intentions, and see how the guy responds.
5) Be Brief
Don’t write an entire novel as a first message.
Keep your message short and sweet. Wait for the guy to engage and then go from there.
You don’t want to scare him off with a long-winded paragraph.
There’s no need to be overly wordy or complicated when a simple sentence will do. Just keep it brief and say something that interests you about him.
How Should Girls Text First on Tinder? (Examples)
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Now that we’ve gone over the Tinder opening tips, let’s dive into some real-life examples.
Feel free to use these samples as is or to personalize them for yourself.
First Tinder message examples:
- The dog in your profile is almost as adorable as you.
- Hi Paul. I just got back from a bike tour in Barcelona and thought you might like to know where the best spots were!
- I love that you said you were looking for someone with goals. What’s your biggest goal right now?
- Let’s adopt puppies and fly around the world.
- Would you like to get a drink sometime?
- I’m usually very shy until I get to know someone, but then I open up really fast. 🙂
- Let’s be best friends and then never see each other again.
- I’m glad we matched. Tell me something fun about you.
- Hey Justin. Your bio cracked me up!
- Hi Rob. I’m Lizzie, your match for this week’s photo challenge on Tinder? 😉
The main idea is to make a quick connection, be different, and see where the conversation goes.
I met my fiance on Tinder, so you never know.
Here is a good video designed for men that can definitely also be used for women to start conversations on Tinder:
Should Girls Text First on Tinder?
It is fine for girls to text first on Tinder. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sending the first message. By texting first, you show interest, instantly set yourself apart from other girls, and you are more likely to get a response.
With that said, there is no “should.”
Texting first is not an obligation. Nor is it somehow a sign of weakness—as if you feel desperate or thirsty.
As a guy, I really appreciate it when a girl messages me first.
Sometimes, guys get busy with work, school, and life. They forget to text a match right away.
When you send an initial message, you give yourself the best chance at a date or relationship.
Why Should Girls Message First on Tinder? (3 Good Reasons)
When you think about it, there are some very good reasons for you to text first on Tinder (or any other dating app).
Here are three of the best reasons.
1) You Will Miss Fewer Opportunities
This is the number one reason to put yourself out there with your first message.
If neither of you texts first, nothing will happen.
You might miss a wonderful conversation, date, friendship, or romance. When you text first, you make sure you do everything in your power to not miss something great.
Now, it’s up to the other person.
2) You Instantly Become a Rare Ratio
Very few girls reach out to guys first on dating apps.
The moment you send the initial message, you join the rare ranks of women who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go for it.
This already makes you stand out to any guy.
3) You Take Control of Your Destiny
In my experience, most of life is determined by our decisions.
Not acting is also a choice.
Lots of people claim high energy, proactivity, and decisiveness. Lots of people want an exciting future filled with pleasure, love, and romance.
Yet, few take the steps necessary to make that future a reality.
You can sit back and wait for life to come to you (not recommended) or you can take life by the horns (recommended).
You can plow toward your destiny with massive action.
Sending that first message might change everything and bring you that much closer to the life of your dreams.
How Should Girls Text First on Tinder? (Mistakes)
There are some texting mistakes you should avoid when sending opening messages on Tinder.
The main mistakes:
- Texting too much
- Texting something inappropriate
- Texting something offensive
- Testing something boring
You can easily avoid these mistakes by sending a short, friendly message.
Don’t send anything lewd or potentially offensive when you don’t know the other person or their personality. They may love or hate it. As this is your first interaction, you don’t want to put your foot in your mouth.
Keep your message to one or two sentences at most.
And never ever be boring!
What Do Guys Think About Girls Texting First on Tinder?
I polled a private Facebook group of 5k men from around the world about their thoughts on girls who text first on Tinder.
This is not a statistically significant study, but it did give me some interesting insights.
Here is a chart showing what guys think about girls who text first on Tinder:
|Responses||Response Percentage %|
|I like it when girls text first on Tinder||93%|
|I don’t like it when girls text first on Tinder||3%|
|I am neutral about girls texting first on Tinder||4%|
|I am more likely to respond to a girl who texts first on Tinder||100%|
As you can see, the majority of guys that responded overwhelmingly appreciate girls who text first on Tinder and other dating apps.
Here are some of their comments:
“I like when girls text first because I know they’re interested and it’s easier to start talking.” —26-year old
“It’s okay if the girl messages first, but there is really nothing wrong with the guy doing it, either.” —23-year old
“Girls who text first are more aggressive. I’m used to being the aggressor so sometimes that’s a turnoff. But other times it works because it takes the pressure off me.” —31-year old
“I think girls who text first are a refreshing change of pace.”—28-year-old
Final Thoughts: How Should Girls Text First on Tinder?
If you take anything from this article, I hope that you take away the truth that there is nothing wrong with sending a guy a first message on Tinder.
It doesn’t make you any less of a queen, prize, or boss babe.
In fact, it demonstrates with crystal clarity that all of those terms absolutely apply to you.