How to Choose Between Two Guys (27 Tips + Decision Chart)

Choosing between two guys that you like is an exercise in confusion, mixed feelings, and second guesses.

Here is how to choose between two guys:

Choose between two guys by reflecting on your feelings, evaluating compatibility, assessing long-term potential, and considering your happiness. Assess their character, communication style, and support during challenges. Trust your intuition and ensure shared values and respect.

In this guide, I’ll give you 27 good ways to decide between two dudes that you like.

1. Reflect on Your Feelings

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What are your feelings towards each person?

The first step in making a decision is to reflect on your true feelings. Take some time to think about how each person makes you feel.

Are you excited and happy when you’re with them, or do you feel more at ease and comfortable?

Feelings are a crucial part of any relationship and understanding your emotions towards each person can help you make a clearer decision.

Do you have any reservations?

Consider if there are any red flags or reservations you have about either person.

These might be small things that make you uncomfortable or bigger issues that could be deal-breakers. Reflecting on any reservations you have can help you avoid future conflicts and ensure a healthier relationship.

2. Evaluate Compatibility

Do you share common interests and values?

Compatibility is essential for a long-term relationship. Assess whether you share common interests and values with each person.

This includes hobbies, lifestyle choices, and moral beliefs.

Having common ground can make the relationship smoother and more enjoyable.

How do they handle conflicts?

This is super important to know. Observe how each person handles disagreements and conflicts.

Do they remain calm and try to find a solution, or do they become aggressive and uncooperative?

A partner who can handle conflicts maturely is essential for a stable relationship.

3. Assess Long-Term Potential

What are their future plans and goals?

Understanding each person’s future plans and goals is crucial to choosing between two guys.

Discuss their career aspirations, family plans, and life goals. Are they aligned with yours?

If your futures are headed in different directions, it could lead to challenges down the road.

How do they envision a future with you?

Talk about how each person envisions a future with you. Are they serious about a long-term commitment, or do they seem unsure?

Knowing their intentions can help you determine who is more likely to be a compatible partner in the long run.

4. Consider Your Happiness

Who makes you feel more supported and appreciated?

A supportive and appreciative partner can significantly impact your happiness.

Reflect on who makes you feel more valued and respected. A relationship where you feel genuinely appreciated is likely to be more fulfilling and long-lasting.

Who brings out the best in you?

Consider who encourages you to be your best self.

A good partner should inspire and support your growth, helping you become a better person. Reflect on who makes you feel more motivated and positive about yourself and your future.

5. Evaluate Their Character

How do they treat others?

Observe how each person treats others, including friends, family, and strangers.

Kindness and respect towards others are indicators of a good character. A partner who treats others well is likely to treat you well, too.

Are they trustworthy and reliable?

Trust and reliability are fundamental for a healthy relationship. Reflect on whether each person is someone you can depend on.

Have they shown consistency in their words and actions?

Trust is built over time, and a reliable partner is essential for a stable relationship.

6. Communication Style

How effective is your communication with each person?

Communication is the backbone of any relationship. Evaluate how well you communicate with each person.

Are you able to express your thoughts and feelings openly?

Effective communication is crucial for resolving issues and building a strong connection.

Do they listen to you?

Active listening is a sign of respect and understanding. Reflect on whether each person listens to you and values your opinions.

A partner who listens is more likely to understand your needs and work towards meeting them.

7. Assess Their Actions

How do they show their love and care?

Actions often speak louder than words. Observe how each person shows their love and care.

Do they go out of their way to make you happy, or do they only show affection when it’s convenient?

Genuine love is demonstrated through consistent and thoughtful actions.

Are they there for you during tough times?

A supportive partner will stand by you during difficult times.

Reflect on whether each person has been there for you when you needed them the most. A partner who supports you through challenges is likely to be a dependable and loving companion.

8. Family and Friends’ Opinions

What do your family and friends think?

Your family and friends’ opinions can provide valuable insights.

They might see things that you don’t and can offer an objective perspective.

Consider their opinions but make sure that the final decision aligns with your feelings and judgment.

Do they get along with your loved ones?

It’s important for your partner to get along with your loved ones.

Observe how each person interacts with your family and friends.

A harmonious relationship with your loved ones can contribute to a happier and more integrated relationship.

9. Personal Growth and Independence

Do they support your personal growth?

A good partner will support your personal growth and independence.

Reflect on whether each person encourages you to pursue your goals and aspirations.

A relationship where both partners support each other’s growth is more likely to be successful.

Are you able to maintain your independence?

Maintaining your independence is crucial for a healthy relationship.

Evaluate whether each person allows you to have your own space and independence. A relationship that respects individuality and personal space is healthier and more balanced.

10. Evaluate Emotional and Physical Attraction

Are you emotionally connected?

Emotional connection is vital for a deep and meaningful relationship.

Reflect on whether you feel a strong emotional bond with each person.

An emotional connection enhances intimacy and helps build a solid foundation for the relationship.

Are you physically attracted to them?

Physical attraction is also important in a romantic relationship.

Assess whether you are physically attracted to each person. While physical attraction should not be the only factor, it contributes to the overall chemistry and connection.

11. Assess Financial Stability

How do they handle finances?

Financial stability can impact your future together. Evaluate how each person handles their finances.

Are they responsible and financially stable, or do they have financial issues?

Financial compatibility can reduce stress and conflicts in the relationship.

Are their financial goals aligned with yours?

Discuss each person’s financial goals and how they align with yours.

Financial compatibility is crucial for planning a future together, including budgeting, saving, and investing for the future.

12. Assess Their Support System

What is their relationship with their family?

A person’s relationship with their family can give you insights into their character and values. Reflect on each person’s relationship with their family.

A healthy family relationship often indicates good values and a supportive upbringing.

Do they have a strong support network?

A strong support network can provide stability and security.

Evaluate whether each person has a supportive network of friends and family.

A strong support system can contribute to a more balanced and resilient relationship.

13. Evaluate Lifestyle Compatibility

Do your lifestyles align?

Lifestyle compatibility is essential for a harmonious relationship.

Assess whether your lifestyles align with each person. This includes daily routines, social activities, and work-life balance.

Compatible lifestyles can reduce conflicts and increase compatibility.

How do they handle work-life balance?

Work-life balance is crucial for a happy relationship.

Reflect on how each person manages their work and personal life. A partner who values work-life balance is likely to contribute to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

14. Consider Shared Experiences

Do you have meaningful shared experiences?

Shared experiences can strengthen your bond (and the flip side is also true).

Reflect on the meaningful experiences you’ve shared with each person. These experiences can create lasting memories and deepen your connection.

How do you feel during shared activities?

Evaluate how you feel during shared activities with each person.

Do you enjoy their company and feel happy, or do you feel stressed and uncomfortable?

Positive shared experiences can contribute to a stronger and more enjoyable relationship.

15. Assess Communication and Conflict Resolution

How do they handle misunderstandings?

Misunderstandings are inevitable in any relationship but how do they communicate?

Reflect on how each person handles misunderstandings. Do they approach them calmly and seek resolution, or do they escalate conflicts?

Effective conflict resolution is key to a healthy relationship.

Do they apologize and take responsibility?

Taking responsibility and apologizing when wrong is a sign of maturity.

Reflect on whether each person is willing to apologize and take responsibility for their actions.

A partner who can admit their mistakes is likely to contribute to a healthier and more respectful relationship.

16. Evaluate Their Commitment Level

Are they committed to the relationship?

Commitment is essential for a long-term relationship.

Assess each person’s level of commitment. Are they serious about building a future together, or do they seem uncertain?

A committed partner is more likely to invest in the relationship and work towards its success.

How do they express their commitment?

Reflect on how each person expresses their commitment.

Do they make plans for the future and include you in their goals? Actions that demonstrate commitment can provide reassurance and build a stronger foundation for the relationship.

17. Assess Their Support During Challenges

How do they support you during tough times?

Support during tough times is crucial for a strong relationship.

Reflect on how each person has supported you during challenges. A partner who stands by you and provides emotional support can help you navigate difficult times and strengthen your bond.

Are they willing to face challenges together?

Evaluate whether each person is willing to face challenges together.

A partner who is ready to work through difficulties as a team is more likely to contribute to a resilient and enduring relationship.

18. Consider Their Sense of Humor

Do they make you laugh?

A good sense of humor can add joy to your relationship.

Reflect on whether each person makes you laugh and enjoy their company.

Shared laughter can create a positive and enjoyable atmosphere in your relationship.

Do they appreciate your humor?

A mutual appreciation for each other’s sense of humor can enhance your connection.

Reflect on whether each person enjoys and understands your jokes and humor style.

A partner who appreciates your humor can make daily interactions more fun and pleasant.

19. Evaluate Their Emotional Intelligence

Are they emotionally mature?

Emotional maturity is crucial for handling the complexities of a relationship.

Reflect on whether each person demonstrates emotional maturity, such as handling emotions healthily and showing empathy towards others.

Emotional intelligence can help navigate the ups and downs of a relationship more smoothly.

How do they respond to your emotions?

Observe how each person responds to your emotions, whether it’s joy, sadness, or frustration.

A partner who validates and supports your feelings can provide a nurturing and understanding environment, fostering a deeper emotional connection.

20. Assess Their Personal Habits

Do their habits complement yours?

Personal habits, from daily routines to lifestyle choices, can significantly impact compatibility.

Evaluate whether each person’s habits complement yours.

This includes cleanliness, punctuality, and other daily behaviors that can affect your living environment and harmony.

Can you accept their quirks and habits?

Reflect on whether you can accept each person’s quirks and habits.

Everyone has unique characteristics, and being able to embrace these can contribute to a more harmonious and accepting relationship.

21. Consider Your Intuition

What does your gut feeling tell you?

Sometimes, your intuition can provide valuable insights.

Reflect on your gut feelings about each person. Do you feel more at ease and positive with one over the other?

Trusting your intuition can guide you towards making the best decision for your heart and future.

Do you feel any unease or doubt?

Consider any feelings of unease or doubt you might have.

These feelings can sometimes indicate underlying issues that need to be addressed. Reflecting on these emotions can help you make a more informed and confident decision.

22. Evaluate Their Communication Style

How do they communicate during disagreements?

Effective communication during disagreements is essential for resolving conflicts.

Reflect on how each person communicates when you have differing opinions.

A partner who communicates respectfully and constructively can help maintain a healthy and open relationship.

Are they open to feedback?

A partner who is open to feedback is more likely to grow and improve within the relationship.

Reflect on whether each person is receptive to constructive criticism and willing to make changes when necessary.

Openness to feedback can foster mutual growth and understanding.

23. Consider Shared Values

Do you share core values?

Shared core values can form the foundation of a strong relationship.

Evaluate whether you and each person share similar beliefs and values, such as honesty, integrity, and kindness.

Aligning on core values can reduce conflicts and increase compatibility.

How do they prioritize these values?

Reflect on how each person prioritizes their values in their daily life.

Actions often reflect true values, so observe whether their behaviors align with their stated beliefs.

A partner who consistently demonstrates their values can build a more trustworthy and reliable relationship.

24. Assess Their Level of Ambition

Are they ambitious and goal-oriented?

Ambition and goal orientation can drive personal and professional growth.

Reflect on whether each person is ambitious and sets goals for themselves.

A partner with a strong sense of direction can inspire and motivate you in your endeavors.

Do their ambitions align with yours?

Consider whether their ambitions and goals align with yours.

It’s essential to have compatible future plans to ensure both partners can support each other’s dreams and aspirations.

Aligned ambitions can foster a collaborative and encouraging relationship.

25. Evaluate Their Emotional Availability

Are they emotionally available?

Emotional availability is crucial for building a deep connection.

Reflect on whether each person is open and willing to share their emotions with you. An emotionally available partner can create a more intimate and supportive relationship.

Do they understand and support your emotional needs?

Consider whether each person understands and supports your emotional needs.

A partner who is attentive to your feelings and provides emotional support can contribute to a nurturing and fulfilling relationship.

26. Assess Their Social Compatibility

Do they fit into your social circle?

Social compatibility can impact your overall happiness in the relationship.

Reflect on whether each person fits well into your social circle and gets along with your friends.

A partner who blends well with your social network can enhance your social experiences.

Are they supportive of your social life?

Consider whether each person supports your social life and friendships.

A partner who encourages you to maintain your social connections and respects your social needs can contribute to a more balanced and satisfying relationship.

27. Consider Their Level of Respect

Do they respect your boundaries?

Respecting boundaries is crucial for a healthy relationship.

Reflect on whether each person respects your personal boundaries and space.

A partner who honors your limits and respects your needs can create a safer and more comfortable environment.

How do they treat you in public and private?

Observe how each person treats you in both public and private settings.

A partner who consistently shows respect and consideration, regardless of the situation, demonstrates genuine care and affection.

Respect is a fundamental component of any lasting relationship.

Here is a video about how to choose between two guys:

YouTube Video about A Conscious Rethink — How to Choose Between Two Guys

How to Choose Between Two Guys (Comparison Chart)

Here is a comparison chart to help you make your decision:

ConsiderationGuy AGuy B
Emotional Connection
Shared Values
Conflict Resolution
Support System
Future Goals
Communication Style
Trust and Reliability
Personal Growth Support
Emotional Availability
Physical Attraction
Financial Stability
How to Choose Between Two Guys: Comparison Chart

Final Thoughts: How to Choose Between Two Guys

Ultimately, the choice is up to you.

As someone with a little experience in choosing between great people, let me suggest that you choose the person that brings you the most peace and comfort. Butterflies, too, but sometimes that super intense energy upfront is fun yet fleeting.

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