Most of the advice I’ve read online gets it almost right but will probably land you in the friend zone (or worse).
Here’s how to date a girl out of your league:
You can date a girl out of your league by channeling your inner James Bond, mastering mystery, staying centered, not putting her on a pedestal, making her laugh, showing genuine interest, giving her space to miss you, breaking rapport, and using the celebrity “tease” tactic.
In this guide, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to date a girl out of your league.
17 Smart Moves To Date a Girl Out of Your League
It’s absolutely possible to get and date a girl out of your league (I’m proof!).
Over the last 30 years, I’ve dated several girls (women) way out of my league. Many of my friends have, too.
Along the way, I’ve collected 17 ways that helped me and other guys meet, flirt, attract, and date amazing women. It’s not always easy but it is always worth it.
Here are the 17 smart moves to make to date your dream girl.
1) Unleash Your Inner James Bond
If you’re looking to date a girl who you think is out of your league, then confidence, suaveness, and charm are key.
Here’s how you can unleash your inner James Bond and impress the girl of your dreams:
- Confidence: Confidence is attractive, plain, and simple. When you’re confident in yourself and your abilities, it shows in everything you do. So, stand tall, make eye contact, and exude confidence.
- Suaveness: Be smooth and debonair. Show the girl you’re interested in that you’re a gentleman and that you know how to treat a lady. Offer her your coat when she’s cold, open doors for her, and be polite and respectful.
- Charm: Be charming and make the girl feel special. Pay her genuine compliments, make her laugh, and show her that you’re interested in getting to know her as a person.
By unleashing your inner James Bond, you’ll be able to make a positive impression on the girl you’re interested in and build a strong, healthy relationship.
Example: Let’s say you’re at a coffee shop and you see a girl you’re interested in.
You can unleash your inner James Bond by confidently walking up to her, striking up a conversation, and making her laugh with a charming joke.
You can also show your suaveness by offering to buy her a coffee and paying her a genuine compliment about her smile.
By doing these things, you’ll be making a positive impression and showing her that you’re a confident, suave, and charming gentleman.
2) Find Your Center and Chill
Staying centered and calm is one of the most important things you can do when trying to date a girl who you think is out of your league.
Women are attracted to men who can stay cool, collected, and focused, no matter what life throws their way.
Here’s how you can stay centered and calm, and make a positive impression on the girl you’re interested in:
- Take deep breaths: When things get stressful or overwhelming, take a step back and take a few deep breaths. This can help to calm your mind and to clear your thoughts.
- Stay positive: Keep a positive attitude, even in difficult situations. This can help to keep you calm and centered, and can also make you more attractive to others.
- Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is all about being present in the moment and being aware of your thoughts and feelings. By practicing mindfulness, you can stay centered and calm, even in challenging situations.
Example: You’re on a first date with a girl and things aren’t going as planned.
Maybe the restaurant is loud, or the food is taking a long time to come.
Instead of getting stressed out, you can stay centered and calm by taking deep breaths, staying positive, and focusing on the moment. By doing this, you’ll be showing her that you’re a confident and composed man, even in difficult situations.
3) Don’t Treat Her Like a Goddess
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of dating a girl who you think is out of your league and to put her on a pedestal. But, if you treat her like a celebrity, she’s likely to treat you like a fan. Here’s how to avoid putting her on a pedestal and make a positive impression:
Treat her like a normal person.
Treat her the same way you would treat any other woman you’re mildly interested in. Be kind, be respectful, and show genuine interest in her life, but don’t gush over her or put her on a pedestal.
By not putting her on a pedestal, you’ll stand out from all the other guys.
Here are some tips I’ve found helpful:
- Don’t constantly compliment her or tell her how amazing she is. Instead, engage in conversation and get to know her as a person.
- Don’t make her the center of your world. Have other interests and hobbies and let her see that you have a well-rounded life.
- Don’t think she’s too good for you or that you can’t measure up. Be confident in yourself and your abilities.
4) Master Mystery
Mastering mystery is a surefire way to pique her interest and level the playing field.
Here are some examples of how you can become a master of mystery and woo your dream girl:
- Don’t reveal everything at once: When you first meet her, don’t spill all the beans about yourself. Let her ask you questions and reveal details gradually. It’s like a treasure hunt, and the more she uncovers, the more intrigued she becomes. You don’t want to give her too much too soon, otherwise, the excitement fizzles out too quickly.
- Let her talk: People love talking about themselves, and women are no exception. Be an active listener, ask her questions, and show authentic interest in what she has to say. The more you let her talk, the more she’ll feel comfortable around you, and the more she’ll reveal about herself.
- Don’t over-text: In today’s digital age, it’s easy to over-communicate. Resist the urge to bombard her with messages, and instead, keep it cool and occasional. A little anticipation can be a good thing, and you don’t want to come across as clingy or needy.
- Be unpredictable: Don’t be afraid to mix things up and keep her on her toes. Surprise her with a spontaneous date or an unexpected gesture. Women love a man who can keep them guessing, and being unpredictable will make her feel like she’s not in complete control. Note: Don’t be inconsistent or break promises.
- Don’t confess your feelings too early: It’s tempting to lay all your cards on the table and tell her how you feel, but hold off on that. A little mystery can create an air of tension and excitement that will keep her intrigued. And that means not revealing everything too soon.
5) Make Her Smile, Make Her Laugh
Laughter is a great icebreaker and it’s a surefire way to make her feel at ease around you.
One of the keys to getting a woman out of your league is to get her to smile and laugh during your first few interactions. You don’t need to be a stand-up comedian.
Just practice making people smile and laugh in your life.
So, let’s get started with some easy ways to make her chuckle:
- Be lighthearted: Laugh at yourself and show that you’re not afraid to be vulnerable.
- Share funny stories: Share humorous experiences to show her the real you.
- Use witty one-liners: Show that you’re quick on your feet and not afraid to be cheeky.
- Send her memes or funny videos: Show her you’re thinking about her even when you’re not together.
- Make funny faces or tell a joke: Sometimes, the simplest things can be the funniest.
6) Show a Sincere Interest in Her (Not Just Her Beauty)
Showing a sincere interest in a woman goes beyond just admiring her physical appearance.
It is about taking the time to get to know her as a person, what she values, what makes her happy, and what her hopes and dreams are. By doing so, you are showing her that she is more than just a pretty face, but a complex individual with unique qualities and personality.
This kind of genuine interest is what makes a woman feel special and appreciated, leading to a deeper connection and a stronger bond between the two of you.
To show a sincere interest in her, you need to be an active listener, ask questions, and engage in meaningful conversations.
You should also take an interest in her hobbies, interests, and experiences.
Additionally, make an effort to remember the little things she mentions, such as her favorite color or food, and bring it up in future conversations.
By doing so, you are demonstrating that you are not only interested in her, but also that you value her and what she has to say.
7) Create a Life She Wants to Join
Creating a life that a woman wants to join is a great way to attract and retain her interest.
When you have a rich and fulfilling life filled with cool friendships, interesting hobbies, and fun experiences, you are demonstrating that you are a well-rounded and confident individual who is living life to the fullest.
Women are naturally drawn to men who are confident and have a positive outlook on life.
By creating a life that is exciting and engaging, you are sending the message that you are a desirable and attractive partner who is worth getting to know.
Moreover, when you have a fulfilling life, you have much to offer and share with others, making you an even more desirable partner.
Your amazing life will not only attract potential partners, but it will also make your current relationships more exciting and enriching. You will have the opportunity to introduce your partner to new and exciting experiences, hobbies, and friendships, making your relationship dynamic and fulfilling.
8) Give Her Space To Miss You
Giving a woman the time and space to miss you is an important aspect of building attraction and maintaining a healthy relationship.
When you are constantly texting or calling her, you are taking away the opportunity for her to miss you and think about you on her own. This can lead to a sense of boredom and predictability in the relationship, reducing her level of attraction to you.
You don’t want that. Not at all.
On the other hand, allowing a little bit of uncertainty and space in the relationship can increase her attraction to you tenfold.
Science has shown that when a person experiences uncertainty, their brain releases a chemical that increases feelings of excitement and anticipation.
This leads to a higher level of attraction, as the person becomes more invested in the relationship and is more likely to pursue it.
By giving her the time and space to miss you, you are allowing her to experience these feelings of uncertainty, leading to an increased level of attraction.
9) Break Rapport (But Don’t Be a Jerk)
Occasionally breaking rapport with a girl you think is out of your league can actually increase her respect and attraction towards you.
When you are constantly trying to please her and stay in rapport, you are demonstrating a lack of confidence and a fear of losing her. This can make you seem weak and unappealing, leading to a decrease in her level of attraction to you.
Respectfully breaking rapport by expressing your own opinions, disagreeing sometimes, and standing your ground shows that you are confident and self-assured.
This demonstrates that you are not afraid to “risk” her liking you and that you value your own opinions and beliefs.
10) Use the Celebrity “Tease Tactic”
This is a tactic that many celebrities or celebrity-adjacent guys use to date women out of their league.
Playfully teasing a girl out of your league is another effective way to subtly break rapport and increase her attraction towards you. By not constantly fawning over her or going out of your way to impress her, you are demonstrating confidence and a lack of neediness.
This can make you a more attractive and desirable partner.
Playful teasing can be done in a lighthearted and fun manner, showing that you are not afraid to joke around and have a good time.
For example, if she mentions that she is a terrible cook, you could playfully tease her by saying “Well, I guess we’ll be ordering takeout for the rest of our lives!” or if she mentions a quirky habit, you could jokingly comment “Well, I guess I’ll just have to get used to your weirdness!”
These playful comments show that you are comfortable with her and are not afraid to joke around and have a little fun.
Here’s a great video that demonstrates how this powerful “teasing” tactic works in real life:
11) Spin a Positive Movie Reel in Your Mind
Spinning a positive movie reel in your mind can be a powerful tool in developing confidence and attracting women who may seem out of your league.
When you develop and run an internal script that is positive and empowering, you are reinforcing positive beliefs and thoughts about yourself.
This can help you approach dating and relationships with a sense of self-assurance and confidence.
Imagine yourself in different scenarios, such as meeting and talking to a woman you find attractive, having a successful date, or even building a strong and fulfilling relationship.
Visualize yourself as confident, charming, and attractive, and see the woman responding positively to your advances.
This internal script can serve as a source of motivation and encouragement, helping you to overcome any self-doubt or insecurity.
12) Keep the Atmosphere Light and Fun
When you engage in playful and witty banter, you are creating a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere that encourages her to open up and be herself.
Focus on having fun and making her feel comfortable, safe, and happy.
When a woman feels comfortable and at ease, she is more likely to let her guard down and be herself. This can lead to a more enjoyable and fulfilling interaction and can increase her attraction to you.
Avoid bringing up heavy or negative topics. Instead, focus on lighthearted and fun conversations.
13) Tell Better Stories
Women love a good story.
The right techniques can turn even the most mundane moment into a captivating tale.
Here are some tips for telling better stories during a conversation with a woman you think is out of your league:
- Focus on the details: A good story is all in the details. Make sure to include specific and interesting details that will engage the listener and bring the story to life.
- Use humor: Humor is a great way to engage and entertain your listener. Try to include a few jokes or lighthearted moments in your story.
- Keep it relevant: Make sure your story is relevant to the conversation and to the listener. A story about your trip to Bali may not be as interesting to someone who has never been there.
- Use body language and expressions: Your body language and expressions can greatly enhance the story and make it more engaging. Use gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice to bring the story to life.
- Keep it concise: A long and rambling story can quickly lose the listener’s attention. Make sure to keep your story concise and to the point.
14) Stop the Jitterbugs
Avoiding nervous gestures, speech patterns, and habits is crucial when trying to date a woman who may seem out of your league.
When you are nervous, it can be easy to fall into nervous habits such as fidgeting, stuttering, or speaking too quickly. These habits can make you seem nervous and unsure of yourself, which can be a turn-off for a woman.
The best approach is often to use the “pace and lead” technique.
This means that you should pace the woman’s level of confidence and lead her into a confident and calm frame.
This can be done by speaking in a relaxed and confident tone, maintaining eye contact, and avoiding nervous gestures. By creating a calm and confident atmosphere, you are demonstrating that you are a strong and attractive partner who is worth getting to know.
15) Be Unapologetically Yourself
When you try to be someone you’re not, you are not only doing yourself a disservice, but you are also sending the message that you are not confident in who you are.
This can make you seem unappealing and unattractive.
On the flip side, when you are unapologetically yourself, you are demonstrating confidence and authenticity.
You are showing that you are comfortable in your own skin and that you are not afraid to be yourself, no matter what others may think. This can be incredibly attractive to a woman, as it demonstrates that you are a strong and confident individual who is not afraid to be yourself.
Additionally, being unapologetically yourself allows you to connect with the woman on a deeper level.
When you are not hiding behind a false persona, you are able to be more open and genuine, leading to a more authentic and fulfilling interaction.
16) Pass Her Strength Tests
Women often use tests to determine if a man is worth dating and pursuing.
These tests can take many forms, such as saying something controversial, not texting back for hours, trying to change your opinion, or pushing your emotional buttons.
These tests are designed to see how a man reacts and to determine if he is the right fit for a relationship.
Passing these tests is crucial in attracting and retaining a woman’s interest.
When a man remains calm, unbothered, and playful in the face of these tests, he demonstrates that he is confident, self-assured, and emotionally stable.
These are all desirable qualities in a partner and can increase a woman’s attraction to the man.
If a man becomes upset, annoyed, or desperate in response to these tests, he is demonstrating that he lacks confidence and emotional stability. This can be a turn-off for a woman and can lead to a decrease in her level of attraction.
17) Take the Lead and Make a Move
If you never approach her, text her, or ask her out on a date, you will never know if she is interested in you.
Plus, you might end up in the dreaded “friend zone.”
Women appreciate a man who takes charge and makes the first move. This shows confidence and assertiveness, which are attractive qualities in a partner.
However, it’s important to approach the situation in a respectful and confident manner.
Make sure to have a clear intention and to be direct about your feelings. Don’t beat around the bush or play games, as this can be confusing and unappealing to women.
Making a move can be nerve-wracking, but it is a necessary step in the dating process.
By taking the lead and making a move, you are demonstrating your interest in the woman and giving her the opportunity to respond.
What Makes a Girl Out of Your League?
That’s a good question.
Here are some of the areas that may make a girl out of your league:
- Physical appearance: A girl who is considered “out of your league” may be considered physically attractive to a high degree, with features that are considered desirable or unique.
- Success and status: A girl who is considered “out of your league” may have achieved a high level of success or status in her career or personal life, such as having a high-powered job or a large social media following.
- Confidence and charisma: A girl who is considered “out of your league” may be confident and charismatic, with a strong presence and a magnetic personality.
- Intelligence and education: A girl who is considered “out of your league” may be highly intelligent and well-educated, with a sharp mind and a thirst for knowledge.
It is important to note that the concept of a girl being “out of your league” is subjective and can vary from person to person.
What one person considers to be attractive or desirable may not be the same for someone else.
Additionally, this concept can be harmful and perpetuate unrealistic expectations and standards in relationships.
Ultimately, it is important to focus on the qualities and traits that are important to you in a partner, rather than external factors such as physical appearance or social status.
When you focus on qualities such as kindness, compassion, and a sense of humor, you are more likely to find someone who is truly a good match for you, regardless of whether or not they are considered “out of your league.”
How To Flirt With A Girl Out of Your League
Flirting with a girl who you think is out of your league can be intimidating, but it’s your chance to make a good impression.
Here are some of my best tips for flirting with a girl who you think is out of your league:
- Compliment her: Pay her a genuine compliment about something you admire about her, such as her sense of humor, her intelligence, or her smile. The best compliments are not about her appearance. She already knows that she looks good. Try to compliment her on something other guys don’t notice like her bantering skills, intelligence, or obsession with Pokemon.
- Show interest: Ask her questions about herself and listen actively to what she has to say. Show that you are interested in getting to know her and that you value her opinions and thoughts. Remember what she says and bring it up later in the conversation.
- Use humor: Use humor to lighten the mood and to make her laugh. This can help to break the ice and to make her feel more comfortable around you.
- Be confident: Be confident in yourself and your abilities. Show her that you are confident and secure in who you are, which can be attractive to someone who is out of your league.
- Avoid inappropriate comments: Most guys fumble this type of flirting so I would keep things PG until you know what you’re doing.
- Playfully tease her: Yep, we’re back to the celebrity tease tactic. It works. Make sure she knows you are joking.
Here are some examples of compliments you can use to flirt with a girl who you think is out of your league:
- “Do you have an entire room full of Pokemon cards?”
- “Other than me, who’s the most interesting person you’ve met tonight?” (Say it with a smirk)
- “I love your sense of humor. You always know how to make me laugh.”
- “You’re so smart and knowledgeable. I always learn something new when I talk to you.”
- “You have such a beautiful smile. It always brightens my day.”
How To Text a Girl Out of Your League
Texting a girl who you think is out of your league can be a great way to build a connection and keep the relationship exciting.
Here are some tips for texting a girl who you think is out of your league:
- Be playful: Use playful and flirty language to keep the conversation light and fun.
- Ask questions: Ask her questions about herself and listen actively to what she has to say. Show that you are interested in getting to know her and that you value her opinions and thoughts.
- Use humor: Use humor to lighten the mood and to make her laugh. This can help to break the ice and to make her feel more comfortable around you.
- Be consistent: Be consistent in your communication and respond to her messages in a timely manner. This will show her that you are reliable and that you value her time.
- Match her energy: Try to text her about the same amount that she texts you. Allow her to initiate the messages sometimes. Also, match the length and tone of her texts. If she is super flirty, go flirty, too. If she texts short messages, keep yours around the same text size.
- Use texting to set up dates: Texting is not for getting to know her. Focus on establishing rapport, being playful, and setting up the next in-person date.
Here are some examples of playful and flirty texts you can send to a girl who you think is out of your league:
- “Hey you. How’s your week going?”
- “When are you free to get together?”
- “I was just thinking about our last date and I can’t stop smiling. You always know how to make me happy.”
- “I have a feeling today is going to be a great day. I just got a text from the most beautiful girl I know.”
- “Hey, what are you up to today? I’m hoping it involves spending time with me.”
As you can see, these are not magical texts. Keep your messages simple and fun. Then set a date.
What To Say on Tinder to a Girl Out of Your League
Tinder can be a great platform to meet someone who you think is out of your league, but it can also be a challenge to make a good impression. Here are some tips for what to say on Tinder to a girl who you think is out of your league:
- Personalize your message: Make your message unique and personalized, rather than using a generic greeting. Show her that you put thought and effort into your message.
- Ask her questions: Ask her questions about herself and listen actively to what she has to say. Show that you are interested in getting to know her and that you value her opinions and thoughts.
- Use humor: Use humor to lighten the mood and to make her laugh. This can help to break the ice and to make her feel more comfortable around you.
- Be confident: Be confident in yourself and your abilities. Show her that you are confident and secure in who you are, which can be attractive to someone who is out of your league. After a few messages, ask her when she’s available to meet up for a date.
Here are some examples of personalized and flirty messages you can send on Tinder to a girl who you think is out of your league:
- “Hey [her name], I couldn’t help but swipe right when I saw your profile. You seem like a fun and adventurous person, and I would love to get to know you better.”
- “What fun things have you been up to lately?”
- “I love your profile picture. You look like you have a great sense of adventure and a love for life. What’s the last adventure you’ve been on?”
Don’t overthink it.
Just say something about her profile, ask an interesting question, make a funny or clever comment, and don’t talk about her appearance. 500 other guys will do that.
Be different, be kind, and be yourself.
How To Ask a Girl Out When She’s Way Out of Your League
Asking a girl out who you think is out of your league requires a combination of confidence, humility, and charm.
To ask her out, you should approach her, banter with her, look for signs of interest, and if you see them, ask for her number or ask her on a date.
Here are a few example scripts that men can use to ask a girl out who they think is out of their league:
- “Hey, I noticed that you seem to enjoy [insert common interest], and I was thinking of checking out [insert event or location related to that interest]. Would you like to join me?”
- “I’m planning on going [insert activity, such as indoor rock climbing or listening to live music] this [insert day and time]. Would you like to come with me?”
It’s important to remember that confidence and charm are key when asking someone out, but it’s also important to be humble and understanding if she says no.
The most important thing is to be yourself and to show her that you are interested in getting to know her.
5 Mistakes Guys Make When Dating a Girl Out of Their League
Dating a girl who you think is out of your league can be exciting, but it can also be challenging.
Here are five big mistakes that guys often make when trying to date a girl who they think is out of their league:
- Focusing too much on her appearance: While physical appearance is important to some extent, it is not the only thing that matters in a relationship. Focusing too much on her appearance can be shallow and can make it seem like you are not interested in getting to know her as a person.
- Being too aggressive: Being too aggressive or pushy can be a turn-off and can make the girl feel uncomfortable. Instead, be confident and assertive, but also be respectful and understanding of her boundaries.
- Comparing yourself negatively: Comparing yourself negatively to her, or to others, can be harmful to your self-esteem and can make it difficult to build a strong relationship. Instead, focus on your strengths and what makes you unique.
- Being too nervous: Being too nervous can make it difficult to connect with the girl and can make you seem less confident. Instead, be calm, relaxed, and confident in yourself and your abilities.
- Not being yourself: Trying to be someone you’re not can be exhausting and can make it difficult to build a genuine connection with the girl. Instead, be yourself and let your personality shine through.
It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s okay to learn from them and to grow as a person.
How To Be More Attractive To a Girl That Is Out of Your League
Here is a quick list of tools and resources for making yourself more appealing to women out of your league:
- Whip yourself into shape with the best testosterone booster – Nugenix Total T
- Lose weight easily with a powerhouse weight-loss supplement – Alpiline
- Develop the mental mind frame of a high-value man with the How to Be a 3% Man book
- Unleash the power of manifestation to reach your financial goals – Wealth DNA Code
- Dress in style with Stitch Fix
- Plan amazing dates with The Adventure Challenge Book
Final Thoughts: How To Date a Girl Out of Your League
The most important thing is to be yourself and to treat the girl with respect, kindness, and understanding.
If you do that, you will be on your way to building a strong and healthy relationship with the girl who you think is out of your league.
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