Trying to date a girl right after a breakup can be hard to impossible but there are ways to make it more likely to work.
Here’s how to date a girl who just broke up:
Date a girl who just broke up by helping her process her emotions, being patient, giving her space and freedom, and keeping your relationship casual for at least 3-6 months. Accept that she may change her mind, go back to her ex, need time alone, and may not be ready for a serious relationship.
Keep reading this guide to learn everything you need to know about how to date a girl who just broke up.
13 Best Tips for How To Date a Girl Who Just Broke Up
I’ve dated several women who just broke up and it’s never easy.
However, I have learned a few things that may help you navigate the tricky moments in your relationship.
Here are my 13 best tips for how to date a girl who just broke up.
1) Be Her Causal King
When a girl ends a serious relationship, she’s not usually in the mood to jump right back into something new and exclusive.
In fact, she may not even want to date anyone seriously for a while.
That’s where you come in – be her casual king. Date her casually and encourage her to date other people if she wants.
You can do that because you know in your heart that you are the best choice for her, so you’re not threatened by a little competition.
She’ll come around if and when she’s ready.
Until then, enjoy your time with her and make sure she has a good time too.
If you’re not sure how to date a girl who is dating multiple guys, I wrote a good article about it over here.
2) Allow Her Time and Space To Heal
When you see a girl who’s just freshly single, your natural inclination is to swoop in and try to claim her as your own.
You figure that now’s your chance.
She’s still reeling from her breakup and in need of some TLC. Well, I’m here to tell you that, if you want to date a girl who’s just gone through a breakup, then you need to give her some space.
Let her heal at her own pace.
Don’t pressure her into anything. If she wants to be with you, she will be. Otherwise, it’s best to leave her alone.
Trust me, it’s much better that way.
3) Accept That She Might Go Back To Her Ex
When you’re dating a girl who just broke up, there’s always the danger that she’ll go back to her ex.
Don’t be surprised, shocked, or upset if it happens – breakups are messy, full of doubts, and emotion-fueled decisions.
And don’t get too attached; she might change her mind any second, then flip-flop again.
If she does go back to her ex, accept it, and accept her if she comes back to you later saying she regrets it.
This is just part of dating someone who just broke up.
Be prepared for the roller coaster and enjoy the ride.
4) Allow Her To Vent
When dating a girl who just broke up, allow her to vent.
She’ll need a safe space to release all of her pent-up thoughts and feelings without censoring them.
A Planet Fitness (judgment-free zone) where she can fully unleash herself without worrying about what you or anyone will think of her.
Believe me, there will be a storm of emotions coming your way.
You need to be ready to remain calm and sensitively stoic, unmoved by what she says. Just help her get it all out. That’s the ultimate goal.
5) Don’t Get Stuck in the Friendzone
If you’ve ever found yourself in the friend zone, you know how frustrating it can be.
You like a girl, but she only sees you as a friend. It’s a tough situation to be in, but there is a way out.
If you’re dating a girl who just broke up, don’t get stuck in the friend zone.
Act like someone who is interested in dating her, not just being her friend. Don’t do friend things like brunch or lunch dates. Don’t spend hours texting or on the phone.
If you start doing those things, she might begin to see you as more than a friend.
She might even say something about a friendship.
Gently and firmly let her know that you are not interested in friendship, only in dating her. You can’t get trapped in the friend zone if you don’t accept the friend label.
6) Date Other People, Too
Make sure you are talking to and dating other women.
Remember, you should be encouraging her to go out on dates with other people, too. She’s in an emotionally turbulent time and you want to keep things super casual.
It’s always been easier for me (and other guys I know) to not become overly attached when I’m dating 2-5 other women casually.
Since no one is in a committed relationship, no “rules” are being broken.
Now, the girl who just broke up might not like it but she will almost always be more attracted to you when she knows that you have options.
7) You’ll Need Super Human Patience
For any guy who’s considering dating a girl who just came out of a relationship, I have some advice for you: prepare to flex your patience muscles like never before.
You see, when a girl breaks up with her boyfriend, she needs time to process the split and figure out what she wants.
And even though you might be super interested in her, the worst thing you can do is pressure her or rush her.
Trust me, I’ve seen it happen far too many times.
The guy starts pushing for a commitment before the girl is ready, and she freaks out and ends things.
Sit back, relax, and let her come to you (if she wants).
8) Give Her Stability
Be the single stable thing in her life.
Be consistent and always honor your word. Tell her the truth, and live your life in such a way that she can believe what you say.
Right now, her life is spinning out of control.
She needs someone she can rely on, someone who won’t take advantage of her emotionally vulnerable state.
So be that person.
Be the rock she can cling to in the storm. It won’t be easy, but dependability is an underrated and attractive trait.
9) Live Your (Best) Life
A word of advice to any young men out there who might find themselves in the enviable position of dating a girl who just broke up: live your best life.
That means staying busy and doing all the fun things you always wanted to do but never had the time for.
Get in better shape. Go on that trip around the world. And, most importantly, get therapy.
Because even though you may be the best thing that’s ever happened to her, she’s still going to have some residual anger and resentment towards her ex.
And you don’t want to be caught in the middle of that.
So, stay busy, stay positive, and most importantly, stay away from her ex’s Instagram feed.
10) Give Her the Gift of Giggles
When a girl breaks up with her boyfriend, she doesn’t just lose a partner – she loses her best friend, her confidante, and the person who made her laugh the most.
In other words, she loses her source of giggles.
As any good therapist will tell you, laughter is essential for healing a broken heart.
It’s why dating a girl who just broke up can be such a gift. Not only do you have the opportunity to make her laugh, but you can also help her to forget her pain, even if just for a few moments.
And, to her shattered heart, those moments are priceless.
There are plenty of ways to make a girl laugh, but the key is to be genuine and spontaneous. Making fun of yourself is always a good place to start.
Girls love guys who can poke fun at themselves.
It shows that you’re comfortable in your own skin and confident enough to laugh at yourself. Another surefire way to elicit some giggles is to say something completely unexpected.
Be daring and bold – say something that will make her eyebrows raise in happy surprise.
And finally, don’t be afraid to be goofy.
Dance like no one’s watching, sing in the shower (even if you can’t carry a tune), and let your inner child out to play. When it comes to making a girl laugh, there are no rules – just go with your gut and have fun.
11) Be Confident and Take Charge
When dating a girl who just broke up, you want to be confident and take charge.
She probably feels lost and will have a hard time making even simple decisions like where to go, what to do, and what to eat.
Plan fun dates and make non-controlling decisions instead of constantly asking her what she wants to do.
She might not know.
For example, instead of asking her if she wants to see a movie or go to a restaurant, just say you’re going to take her to see the new Marvel movie and then get dinner afterward.
Don’t ask her where she wants to eat, just pick a place you know she’ll like.
And don’t ask her what she wants to do on your date, just plan something fun that you know she’ll enjoy. Be confident and take charge, and she’ll appreciate your thoughtful masculine energy.
12) Don’t Be a Doormat
A woman who has just come out of a relationship is often looking for a sense of control.
She may want to feel like she can dictate the terms of the relationship and that you will always be there when she needs you.
However, this is not the way to build a healthy and lasting relationship.
If you’re dating a girl who has just broken up, don’t be a doormat. Don’t agree with everything she says, change your mind to match her opinion, or be afraid to call her out or gently tease her.
A little healthy competition will do you both good.
She’ll like and respect you more if she knows there are things about you that she can’t control. Always be your own person.
It’ll only make any potential relationship stronger in the long run.
13) Walk Away If You Must
If she’s lost in post-breakup blues, don’t get involved. If she mistreats you, walk away.
If you find someone else you like and want to pursue a relationship with them, do it. You don’t owe her anything and she doesn’t owe you anything.
If she’s constantly texting her ex or talking about him, it’s best to move on.
If she’s rude to you or your friends, it’s time to walk away. Life is too short to wait around for someone who may never be ready to date again.
Should You Date a Girl Who Just Broke Up?5 Things That Make Guys Want You (B...5 Things That Make Guys Want You (Based on Science)
You should date a girl who just broke up if:
- She wasn’t in her relationship very long
- She is not emotionally devasted
- She only wants to casually date
- She is doing the work to heal
- You are very patient
- You are not overly attached
- You have a high tolerance for unpredictability
- You are prepared for things to end
On the other hand, don’t date a girl who just broke up if:
- She was with the other person for years
- The breakup was very hard
- She seems like she will go back to her ex
- She is not actively working to move on
- She wants something serious right away
- She is mean, rude, and demanding
Here is a good video about whether or not you should date a girl who just broke up:
How Long Should You Wait To Date a Girl After a Breakup?
In general, you should wait around 3 months to date a girl after a breakup.
The longer the relationship, the longer you might want to wait. But 3-6 months is a good range. For every year of the relationship, I’d tack on another two months of wait time.
People need time to heal.
However, if the relationship was super short, casual, or brand new, you can probably start dating her within a few weeks.
You still want to keep things casual until you’re sure she is ready for another committed relationship.
How To Comfort a Girl Who Just Broke Up Over Text
First of all, you should avoid using clichés. That’s always a bad idea.
It sounds like you’re trying too hard, and it makes you come across as insincere. Second of all, don’t be pushy.
She’s probably not in the mood to talk to anyone, so try not to bombard her with text messages.
Just send a couple of brief messages to let her know that you’re there for her if she needs to talk. And finally, be sensitive to what she’s going through.
She might have just been dumped, so she probably doesn’t feel very good about herself right now.
Try to make her feel appreciated and special, and let her know that you still care about her.
Here are a few specific texts that you can send to comfort a girl who has just broken up:
- Hey, I’m sorry to hear that things didn’t work out. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.
- It sounds like he was an idiot for letting you go. You deserve so much better than that dude.
- Don’t worry, things will get better. You’re an amazing person and someone will come along who appreciates you.
- You’re going to be okay. Everything will work out in the end.
Is a Girl Able To Fall In Love Again After a Breakup?
After a breakup, a girl is left with a lot of emotions to process.
She’s probably feeling sad, angry, hurt, and confused all at the same time. It’s a lot to deal with.
But eventually, she’ll get through it.
And when she does, she’ll be ready to fall in love again. She’ll have healed all of her old wounds, and she’ll be able to give her new partner her full attention and love.
Love is a powerful thing, and it can definitely overcome any obstacle in its way.
So, don’t lose hope – a girl can definitely fall in love again after a breakup. It may not be easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
Final Thoughts: How To Date a Girl Who Just Broke Up
I don’t recommend dating someone after they just broke up.
What she probably needs is a friend, not another romantic entanglement. You can be there for her but I’d give her a few months before asking her out.
Whatever you choose, I wish you and her the very best in love and happiness.
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