After dating many women who were also dating multiple guys, I’ve learned 20 helpful tips that I want to share with you.
These tips will help keep you sane, happy, and-ultimately- help her choose you over any of them.
Here is how to date a girl who is dating multiple guys:
20 Tips for Dating a Girl Who Is Dating Multiple Guys
Over the last 30 years, I’ve made just about every mistake there is to make when dating women who are also dating other guys.
In that time, I’ve also learned some hard-won lessons.
Here are my 20 best (and field-tested) tips for how to date a girl who is talking to or dating multiple guys.
1) Accept the Reality of Modern Dating Culture
It’s vitally important that you accept modern dating culture.
Don’t mope around or complain about it – that will only make you less attractive.
Instead, focus on being positive and magnetic. This is mandatory internal work to make sure your entire energy and approach are positive. When you can do this, you’ll be successful in dating someone who is seeing other people at the same time.
It’s all about being confident and secure in yourself, and knowing that you’re the best option for her.
Be the man she wants to be with, and she’ll choose you every time.
It sounds too simple to be true but I’ve seen it work like magic in my dating life.
2) Start Dating Multiple Women
If you’re only focused on one woman, it’s easy to let your emotions get the best of you and unintentionally push her away.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve completely flubbed this one.
However, if you’re dating multiple women, you’ll be much more relaxed and confident, which will ultimately make you more attractive to the women you’re dating.
They’ll sense that you’re not desperate or needy, and they’ll be more interested in pursuing a relationship with you.
If she’s dating multiple people, so are you. It’s the surest way to maintain your frame and avoid unintentionally driving her away.
3) Don’t Show Your Hand
If you want to raise a woman’s attraction for you, play it cool and don’t pursue too much.
It may sound counterintuitive, but research has shown that keeping your feelings unclear increases a woman’s attraction to you. I had to see this for myself several times before I believed it.
Thousands of other men from around the world have confirmed that this has also been true for them.
By playing it cool, you show that you’re not needy and that you’re confident enough to let her come to you in her own time and at her own speed.
This will only make her want you more.
If you’re a data nerd like me, you can find the research linked at the bottom of this article (but read the entire article first so that you don’t miss any of the tips).
4) Don’t Be Insecure
One of the most important things to remember when dating a woman who is also seeing other guys is not to show any insecurity.
It can be difficult to keep your cool, but it’s crucial to maintaining her interest.
Acknowledge your feelings and let them out with your friends – never with her or any other girl you’re dating non-exclusively.
Instead, focus on being the best and most attractive option.
Play it cool and believe that you’re the one she wants to be with. You can’t control who she dates or how they measure up, but you can always control yourself (on good days).
Remind yourself that you’re the only one in charge of your happiness and peace.
5) Stay Busy With An Amazing Life
One dating tip that often goes overlooked is the importance of staying busy.
If you’re vying for the attention of a woman who is also dating other guys, it’s crucial that you keep your life interesting and engaging. Sit around at home every night waiting for her to text you and you’re likely to get lost in the shuffle.
Instead, set big goals and chase them relentlessly. Improve yourself in every way possible.
Spend time with great friends. Go on amazing dates. Travel the world. Pursue your passions and hobbies with abandon.
The more passionate and driven you are, the more attractive you’ll be to women. And the best part is that by staying busy, you’ll also be happier.
It’s a win-win scenario.
6) Don’t Be a Jerk
Being a jerk is never an attractive quality, regardless of the circumstance.
If you’re dating a woman who is also seeing other people, remain confident and indifferent. You want to be the best version of yourself around her – charming, funny, and flirty.
You like her but you’re not in love with her.
She’s just one of several women you’re dating. Just because she’s dating other guys (and maybe you don’t like it), that’s no excuse to be a big jerk.
No one likes a jerk.
So play it cool, be Bond-like in your detachment and indifference, and you’ll have a much better chance of success.
There’s no need to act jealous or mean.
Women love a man who seems unattainable and mysterious. So, embrace your inner 007 and stay cool and classy under pressure.
7) Don’t Be a Zombie With No Feelings
Strike a balance between showing interest and maintaining an air of detachment.
On the one hand, you want her to know that you’re interested in her and that you’re not just stringing her along. On the other hand, you don’t want to come on too strong and scare her off.
The key is to take things slow and easy and to match her level of interest.
If she texts you, wait a bit before texting back. If she reaches out to you, make a date.
But if she doesn’t reach out for a week, don’t hesitate to call her and make a date. Just don’t text her every morning or call her every day – that’s a surefire way to get friend-zoned or outright rejected.
8) Give Her Space and Freedom
Give her the time, space, and freedom to miss you and to choose you.
Her feelings will often grow the most when she’s away from you doing something else, even on a date with another guy. Crazy, I know.
But it works.
I’ve seen it happen time after time in my own dating life. When I smothered her with attention, I got ghosted or strung along.
When I gave her space and freedom, almost 100% of women liked me better and ended up pursuing me.
Give her space by not coming on too strong, by not constantly texting her, and by not spending hours on the phone with her between dates.
If you are staying busy with your life and dating other people, this should come naturally.
10) Schedule and Plan Fun Dates
Another tip for dating a woman who is also dating other guys is to schedule and plan fun dates.
Focus on having fun.
Shoot for planning one date every week or every other week. That shows interest but not too much interest too fast. The longer you date, the more she will want to spend time with you.
In the first few weeks of dating, keep to once a week at a maximum.
Also, be sure to have some great stories and conversation starters ready before each date. This will help keep her interested in you and want to see you again.
When you’re with her, make her feel special and happy.
11) Watch Her Behavior
When dating a woman who is also dating other guys always pay attention to her behavior.
Listen to what she says for sure but compare her words to her actions. If she says she wants to see you but never schedules a date or always has excuses why you can’t get together, believe her behavior.
If she wanted to see you, she would make it happen.
If she shows signs of disinterest and she’s making excuses week after week, she probably likes another guy better.
That’s ok because you are also seeing other people.
Let her go. If she changes her mind, she’ll reach out to you sometime in the future.
12) Look for Signs of Growing Attraction
Look for signs of growing attraction.
A woman who is really into you will call and text you between dates. She will agree to see you and make it work at least once per week.
She will ask you questions, remember things about you, want to be near you, laugh at your unfunny jokes, and stay in your orbit.
You know that you are doing things right when her attraction to you is growing and she starts reaching out to you more often.
Keep following the tips in this article and many women will start talking about exclusivity within a month or two.
13) Let Her Bring Up Exclusivity
All of my relationships have always worked better when I let the woman start defining the relationship. L
Let her bring up being exclusive.
It’s a sign that she really likes you. It’s a sign that you are doing things correctly and building a great relationship. It’s a sign that you are not over-pursuing her.
When a woman wants to define a relationship, it is a strong indicator that she is interested.
If you are able to let her take the lead in this way, it will likely result in a more fulfilling and lasting relationship.
14) Don’t Behave Like a Boyfriend
Don’t behave like her boyfriend until you are her boyfriend.
If you act like her boyfriend by texting her, “Good morning beautiful” every day, then you are not being indifferent or making your feelings unclear.
You are broadcasting them on a neon sign outside of her apartment. Don’t do that.
Don’t go on lunch dates, watch her dog, or do any other boyfriend-like behavior until you are her boyfriend. When you feel tempted to act like a boyfriend, remind yourself that uncertainty grows attraction.
It’s weird but it works.
15) Say This Is What You Want
If a woman you are casually dating asks what you are looking for, it’s best not to say that you want something serious.
Instead, tell her that you’re just dating and having fun until you find someone you want to get more serious with. This will likely make her more interested in you, as she’ll see you as a challenge.
Plus, it’s always better to play it cool when it comes to early dating.
Keep your answer casual and see where things go from there. It’s your best bet for her eventually choosing you over the other guys she’s dating.
16) Don’t Fall Into One-itis
One-itis. It’s a term thrown around a lot in the dating world, but what does it really mean?
Simply put, one-itis is the situation where you focus all of your attention on one girl, to the exclusion of all others. This often happens when you meet a girl who is particularly special to you in some way.
Maybe she’s the first girl you ever kissed or the one who got away.
Whatever the case may be, your strong focus on her can begin to leak out in your tone, your eagerness, and your behavior.
The result is that you come across as clingy and needy, which is a major turn-off for most women. So how do you avoid falling into the one-itis trap?
The key is to keep your options open and stay focused on meeting new people.
When you do meet someone special, take things slowly, and don’t let your emotions run away with you.
17) Pass Her Tests With Ease
Women are always testing men, especially when they first start dating.
They want to see if you’re the type of man who gets jealous easily, breaks frame, or loses his center. However, these tests are easy to pass if you remain calm and charming.
For example, if a woman says she’s going on a date with another man, simply tell her to have fun.
Or, if she tests you by flirting with other men in front of you, just stay calm and indifferent. By remaining positive and confident, you’ll prove that you’re the type of man who can handle any situation with ease – just like James Bond.
18) Don’t Gush Over Her
Women are complex creatures, and one of the most important things to remember when dating is that they are often attracted to different things than men.
While it may be tempting to gush over a woman you’re interested in, too many compliments can seem fake and inauthentic.
Moreover, if she is also seeing other men, she may lose interest in you if she feels that you are trying too hard.
How to date a girl who is dating multiple guys?
The key is to be nice and polite, but don’t overdo it with compliments.
If you do compliment her, try to focus on non-physical traits like her intelligence or her drive to reach her goals. By taking things slow and being genuine, you’ll have a much better chance of winning her heart in the long run.
19) Don’t Treat Her Like a Girlfriend
In the early stages of dating, it is important to avoid treating a woman like your girlfriend.
If you act like she is committed to only you, you will only set yourself up for disappointment. It is better to keep your expectations in check and simply enjoy getting to know her.
This small mental shift will also help you avoid many of the common dating mistakes that can quickly derail a relationship.
By not rushing into things, you will be much better positioned for a successful long-term relationship.
20) Remember That You Have Options (And So Does She)
Dating can be a tricky business.
There are no guarantees, and even when you do everything right, there’s no guarantee that the woman you want will want to go exclusive with you.
That’s why it’s important to remember that you have other options.
There are plenty of other women out there who would be interested in dating you. Personally, I’ve had the best luck with women who are just as interested in me as I am in them.
That should be your standard.
If a woman isn’t interested in you, accept it and move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
Here is one of my favorite videos about how to date a girl who is dating multiple guys:
How To Tell if a Girl Is Talking to Multiple Guys
Here are the signs she’s dating multiple guys:
- You are not exclusive with her
- She tells you that she is dating other guys
- She is busy on most weeknights and weekends
- She takes a long time to text or call you back
- She seems distracted or unfocused
- She hides her phone (facedown) when around you
- She doesn’t answer her phone when she’s with you
- She goes more than a week without contacting you
- She goes out every weekend
- All of her friends date multiple guys
- You have never met her friends or family yet
- Her eyes light up whenever she talks about some other guy
- She becomes distant and withdrawn
- Her profile is active on a dating app
- She won’t commit to making plans with you
- She says “maybe” when you ask her out
- She doesn’t introduce you as someone she’s dating
- When you bring up other guys, she gets defensive or starts an argument with you
- She is constantly texting or chatting on the phone with someone when you’re around
- She always looks perfect whenever you run into her, even if she claims she just ran out to the store real quick
No single sign is proof that she is seeing other men. However, the more signs that you notice, the more likely she’s dating other guys.
Ultimately, if you are not in a committed relationship, you absolutely must assume that she is talking to other guys.
That’s why it is of utmost importance that you are also talking to other women.
Should You Date a Girl Who Is Dating Multiple Guys?
Absolutely! In fact, I would argue that you should date multiple women at once until you find one that you want to pursue exclusively.
Here’s why: it’s nearly impossible not to date a woman who is not chatting with other men and going out on dates with them.
In our modern United States culture, dating multiple people at once is a very common and accepted practice.
It’s how we choose our partners.
Refusing to date women who are interested in other men is a surefire way to stay single and lonely.
The best way to find love is to put yourself out there and go on as many dates as possible.
When Should You Stop Dating a Girl Who Is Dating Several Other Guys?
There are only three main reasons to stop dating a girl who is dating other guys:
- You find someone you want to commit to
- You lose interest in her
- She loses interest in you
As a general rule, you should stop dating a girl who is seeing other guys when you find a woman you want to commit to and who wants to commit to you.
If you’re looking for a committed relationship, then it’s best to date multiple women until you find the right partner for you.
There’s no need to stop dating other women until you go exclusive with one woman.
However, there are other times when you might want to stop dating a girl who is dating several other people. For example, if you lose interest in her or she is not showing interest in you, then it might be time to move on.
Ultimately, the decision of when to stop dating a girl who is seeing other guys is up to you and what you’re looking for in a relationship.
Best Tools for Dating a Girl Who Is Dating Multiple Guys
When you are learning how to date a girl who is dating multiple guys, you need the right tools.
Here is a short list of some of the best tools and resources I’ve come across:
- How To Be a 3% Man by Coach Corey Wayne
- The Masculine in Relationship: A Blueprint for Inspiring the Trust, Lust, and Devotion of a Strong Woman
- Atomic Attraction by Christopher Canwell
- Come On Man Podcast and YouTube Channel
- Coach Corey Wayne’s YouTube Channel
- All the dating articles on this site (I’m biased but I do think they will help)
Final Thoughts: How To Date a Girl Who Is Dating Multiple Guys
After years of trial-and-error dating, the most powerful principle I’ve applied is indifference.
Don’t take yourself, anyone else, or dating too seriously until you are in a committed and exclusive relationship with clear boundaries and expectations.
Until then, have fun and enjoy your single life.
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