I’ve dated more than one girl with strict parents in my life and, let me tell you, it’s not always easy.
Here’s how to date a girl with strict parents:
Date a girl with strict parents by accepting that it will be more difficult, meeting them in person, and reassuring them that you will take care of their daughter and honor their rules. Make a detailed plan in advance, take small steps, treat the girl with respect, and always get her home on time.
In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to date a girl with strict parents.
11 Best Tips for How To Date a Girl With Strict Parents
You’ve met a girl with strict parents.
You think she’s amazing and want to ask her out, but you’re unsure how her parents will react.
Or maybe you’ve been dating for a while and things are getting serious, but you’re not sure how to take the next step with her parents looming in the background.
Here are my best tips (from personal experience) to help you navigate dating a girl with strict parents.
1) Accept an Insane Difficulty Level
The first and foremost thing you need to know is that it will be difficult.
Strict parents usually want the best for their daughter, which means they’re going to want to know everything about you.
They’re going to want to know your family history, your job, your hobbies – anything that could possibly impact their daughter’s life. And they’re going to want to meet you to size you up.
So be prepared for a lot of questions, and expect them to seem a little skeptical at first.
They just want to make sure you’re good enough for their daughter.
2) Don’t Take It Personally
It’s important to realize that her parents’ rules are not necessarily a reflection of their feelings towards you.
They just want what’s best for their daughter and they may be more protective than most because they know how easily young love can be derailed.
Try not to take it personally if they seem a little overbearing at first.
One way to help you do this is to imagine how you would feel about someone dating your future daughter. How would you want her to be treated?
A little empathy can go a long way.
3) Schedule a Time To Meet The Parents In Person
Once you’ve accepted that this is going to be a difficult relationship, the next step is to schedule a time to meet the parents in person.
This is important because it shows that you’re serious about the relationship and that you respect their rules.
It also gives you a chance to make a good first impression.
These tips will help you win them over:
- Be the first to suggest meeting in person (This shows respect and initiative)
- Dress nicely
- Arrive on time
- Look her parent’s in the eye (confidently but not aggressively)
- Give her father a firm handshake
- Say Yes Mam and Yes Sir
- Prepare good, short answers in advance (see my examples later in this article)
- Listen attentively
- Validate her parent’s concerns and feelings
4) Make Solid Plans in Advance
Make sure you have a solid plan before you ask her out or try to get more serious.
Her parents are likely to be more receptive if they know that you have thought things through and you have a good reason for why you want to date their daughter.
Having a detailed plan will also show that you’re responsible and mature.
Which is always a plus in the eyes of strict parents.
5) Take Small Steps
Take things slowly at first.
Remember, the parents are just trying to protect their daughter, so they’re going to be wary of any guy who seems like he’s moving too fast.
Start with small steps, like getting ice cream or going on short dates with set time limits.
Once they see that you’re a respectful and responsible guy, they’ll (eventually) start to loosen up (a little) and trust you more.
6) Reassure Her Parents
If you’re dating a girl with strict parents, it’s important to reassure them.
Here are some things you can say to help them feel better about you dating their precious daughter:
- I’ll have her home by curfew.
- I’m responsible and will always make sure she gets home safely.
- Her happiness and safety are always my top priority.
- I have my own vehicle and a job to pay for my car expenses.
- I keep an emergency car repair kit in the truck at all times (Just in case).
- I promise to always respect and take care of your daughter.
- My parents are just like you – they want what’s best for me.
- I’ll never let anything happen to her while she’s with me.
- I know how much you love her and I promise to always make sure she’s happy.
- You can trust me to always help your daughter make the right decisions.
- Thank you for entrusting me with your daughter – I’ll never let you down.
- I promise to respect her boundaries and your expectations.
- I will never mistreat your daughter.
- I swear that I will never break your daughter’s heart.
- I promise to keep communication open with both of you.
- I’ll update you regularly on the status of our plans.
Here is a long paragraph as an example of what you can say:
Dating is all about finding the right person, and I think your daughter is an amazing person. I’ll always be respectful to her and treat her with the utmost care and concern. I’ll never do anything to jeopardize our relationship or put her in harm’s way. I know you’re only looking out for her best interests, and I promise to do the same. I hope you can see that I’m a good person who just wants to make your daughter happy. Thank you for giving me a chance to date her.
7) Always Get Her Home on Time
If you say you’ll have her home by 10 pm, don’t show up at 10:15 pm.
Her parents will not be happy and they will not trust you. And if they don’t trust you, they won’t let her see you again.
It’s beyond critical to fulfill all promises, no matter how small.
Arrive on time, bring her home on time, and never detour from your stated plan without notifying her parents.
It’s a lot of trouble but know that this is what you are signing up for when dating their daughter.
8) Give Trust Time
Trust takes time to grow.
Just because her parents don’t trust you yet doesn’t mean they never will. They just need some time to get to know you and see that you’re a good guy.
Some strict parents may never trust you but most will come around.
Especially if you apply the rest of the tips in this article (and in other articles on this website).
9) Prepare for Her Rebellion
Girls and guys with strict parents often rebel.
They want to assert their independence and break away from the rules they’ve been forced to follow for so long.
If you’re dating someone like this, it’s important to try to talk to them about asserting their independence in ways that don’t get them in trouble or that don’t jeopardize your relationship.
For example, you could suggest going on a double date with another couple instead of just the two of you.
This way, your partner can still feel independent while also staying within the bounds of what their parents would approve of.
Another idea is to encourage your partner to take up a new hobby or activity that they’re passionate about.
This can help them feel more fulfilled and help them get in touch with their true identity, which may have been suppressed for too long.
10) Balance the Rules and the Relationship
You want to balance your support for her freedom with your respect for her parent’s authority.
If you act too strict around her, she may not want to date you.
On the other hand, if you completely abandon all rules, her parents may forbid her from ever seeing you.
As you might imagine, this is a tricky tightrope to walk. You’re going to make some mistakes.
The key is to keep an open dialogue with her and her parents so that you can pivot midstream if things start heading in the wrong direction.
11) Think Long Term
When you’re dating a girl with strict parents, you have to think long-term.
Most relationships don’t work out, so you need to do what’s best for her in the long run, not right now.
Always keep her relationship with her parents in mind.
You don’t want to co-sign any behavior that may permanently damage her relationship with her mom and dad.
Whatever happens in your relationship will probably impact how much freedom she gets in the future (for herself and future boyfriends).
It’s not easy to think this far in advance but it shows a high level of maturity and responsibility.
Or, let’s say you’re dating a girl with strict parents and things get serious.
You two may eventually want to get married and have kids. Once you’re married, her parents will be your in-laws.
If you’ve been respectful of their daughter and maintained a good relationship with them, they’ll be more likely to accept you into the family than if you’ve disregarded their rules and disrespected their daughter.
Check out this good video about how to date a girl with strict parents:
What’s It Like To Date a Girl With Strict Parents?
You may be wondering what it’s like to date a girl who has strict parents.
Here are some things you can expect (from my experiences):
- Strict parents usually enforce early curfews (like 6 pm curfews).
- Phone calls and texts will be monitored.
- Chaperones are often required on dates, which can make things pretty awkward.
- There will be lots of rules about what you can and cannot do when you’re together.
- Be prepared for regular check-ins from her parents when you’re out together.
- There’s less freedom when it comes to deciding what to do on dates.
- Her parents usually have a say in what activities you do and where you go.
- Her parents may want you to only date in public, well-lit places.
- If her parents don’t like you, it’s going to be very difficult to continue the relationship.
- Getting serious could take longer than usual since her parents need to get to know you first.
You can also expect the girl to complain about how controlling her parents are and how she wishes they were different.
Ultimately, it’s not going to be easy to deal with dating a girl with strict parents.
You must decide if it’s worth it.
Should You Date a Girl With Strict Parents? (Is It Worth It?)
Anybody who has strict parents knows that they come with a unique set of challenges – especially when it comes to dating.
On the one hand, it can be incredibly frustrating trying to adhere to all the rules and expectations.
On the other hand, if you really like the girl, then it can be worth the headache.
After all, strict parents usually mean that the family is close-knit and that there are strong values in place. If you can see yourself fitting into that kind of family (or situation), then it may be worth it to pursue the relationship.
Of course, at the end of the day, you have to make the decision that’s best for you.
If you don’t know how much you like the girl, you may want to wait until you’re more certain. It’s only worth it if you really like her.
Otherwise, date someone with less strict parents.
How To Tell Your Strict Parents That You Want To Date
One way to approach the topic of dating with strict parents is to start by asking them about their own dating experiences.
This can help to open up the conversation and provide some context for your own request.
You might say something like, “I was wondering if you could tell me about your experience dating when you were my age. I’m thinking about starting to date and I wanted to get your advice.”
If your parents are reluctant to talk about their own experiences, you can try asking more general questions about their thoughts on dating.
You might ask, “What do you think is the right age to start dating? If I ever started dating, what would be your expectations and rules?”
Once you’ve had a chance to talk about the topic in general, you can broach the subject of your own desire to start dating.
You could say, “I was thinking that I might like to start dating too. Can you tell me what your thoughts are on that?”
If your parents have specific concerns, you can address them one by one.
For example, if they are worried about you moving too fast, you might say, “I promise I won’t rush into anything serious. I just want to go on some dates and see what it’s like.”
They will likely also be worried about your safety and responsibility.
In that case, you could respond with, “I will always follow your rules and expectations to the letter. I will be responsible by doing XYZ (list things you know they would like you to do).”
Here are a few other examples of what you could say:
- “Mom and Dad, I really like ___ and I would like to go out on a date with them. I promise to be home by ____ and I’ll check in with you regularly. I know you’re just concerned about my safety, but I’ll be careful.”
- “I understand that you’re worried about me dating, but ______ is really important to me. Can we please talk about this? I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help you trust me.”
- “I know you don’t want me to date yet, but ________ has already asked me out. If I say no, they might think I’m not interested. Can we please talk about this? It’s important to me.”
Ultimately, the key is to be respectful and honest with your parents.
By having an open and honest conversation, you’ll be more likely to get their blessing to start dating.
Final Thoughts: How To Date a Girl With Strict Parents
All of my dating experiences with girls who had strict parents were positive.
Going in with the right mind frame and the right strategies can help you enjoy it, too.
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