No guy wants to date a girl he thinks is easy. Sure, he will hook up with her, but he probably won’t take her seriously. He almost certainly won’t commit to her.
What makes a girl easy? (At least to most guys)
There are 11 reasons guys might think you’re easy:
- You come on too strong
- You flaunt your body
- You don’t test them
- You flirt with everyone
- You don’t play hard to get
- Your reputation
- You sleep with them right away
- You have a high body count
- You trust too easily
- You don’t have boundaries
- Your circumstance
Now that you know the eleven reasons, let’s explore each one so that you can see exactly what they mean. And so that (if you want) you can avoid coming off as “easy” or “too easy” to the guys in your life.
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Why Do Guys Think I’m Easy (11 Good Reasons)
Ok, let’s look at the main reasons guys think you’re easy. The reasons won’t always feel fair, but I assure you this is how a vast majority of men perceive women. Of course, there are always exceptions.
1) You come on too strong
If you come on too strong or aggressive, many guys will categorize you as overly forward. There’s nothing wrong with shooting your shot, flirting with a guy, or even sliding into his DMs. However, if you make it too easy for a guy, you’ll get pigeonholed as an easy girl.
I realize that the phrases “too aggressive” and “forward” can be a bit vague.
The key here is to take the first step, not all the steps. Say hello or otherwise let him know you’re interested, then let him make the next moves. Get the ball rolling, but don’t carry it down the lane and kick over the bowling pins.
Asking a guy out isn’t being easy, but asking a guy out, making all the plans, picking him up, and then taking him back to your house the first time you meet him is usually considered easy.
2) You flaunt your body
You’re probably going to hate to hear this next part, but it’s one of the very real reasons guys think you’re easy. Men value both beauty and chastity. Every man I know wants a lady in the streets and a “freak” in the sheets.
Therefore, if you regularly wear very sexy and revealing clothing, men are more likely to label you as easy.
It’s not fair and probably not right, but it is true.
This also goes for anything you might post on social media, like pictures of yourself in a skimpy bathing suit or lingerie. One rare picture, depending on how revealing it is, is probably not going to get you labeled as easy. It’s more about the pattern of what you post.
Keep in mind, though, first impressions are often lasting impressions. If a guy meets you out at the club, he’s probably going to categorize you based on your context, at least in a short term.
Obviously, you can wear whatever clothes you want to wear and post whatever you want to on social media. However, if you want to reduce the chances of men calling you easy, you might want to wear clothing that looks good but that shows you in a more conservative and chaste light.
Disclaimer: The solution here is not to dress like a nun, it’s to dress more modestly.
3) You don’t test them
The easier a guy gets your number, schedules a date, goes out with you, and sleeps with you, the more likely he’ll label you as easy. Most high-quality women play a little bit hard to get.
They test men by challenging them and their masculinity. I’m not talking about being rude. I’m talking about authentically testing a man’s strength to see if he’s putting on a front or if he’s really healthy and mature. This is also not about playing games or manipulating. Over the centuries, men have been socially and biologically programmed to respond more favorably to women who test them at least a little.
Here are a few ways you can test him:
- Challenge something he says (example: “Oh, I don’t eat meat” or “I prefer the red ones.”)
- Try to change scheduled plans (example: “Can we bump our date back to 8 pm.”)
- Tease him to see how he responds (example: “That little baby beard is so cute.”)
Check out this helpful video on 3 Ways High-Status Women Test Men:
4) You flirt with everyone
If a man sees you flirting with everyone else at the party, club, or bar, he’s likely to see you as easier and maybe even as a tease.
If you freely flirt without discretion or standards, a man starts to believe that you give away your flirts for free.
Withholding your flirty attention offers you an opportunity to give it to a man that you deem worthy. Someone who has earned it through their behavior and actions.
If a man has to at least earn a little bit of your flirting, he’ll see you as higher quality. He’ll be more invested in getting and keeping your attention.
5) You don’t play hard to get
If you don’t play hard to get, men might consider you easy.
When you play hard to get, you are not always available, you don’t always give in and compromise, and you don’t always follow every man’s lead.
You don’t respond to texts immediately, not because you’re playing some kind of psychological game, but because you’re authentically busy and a man who’s new in your life hasn’t yet earned your immediate attention and focus.
How can you play hard to get?
- Don’t always answer the phone when he calls (But don’t ignore him either).
- Don’t always say “yes” when he wants to wants to go out (not rudely, but becauase you have plans).
- Don’t text back within 2.5 seconds. Occassionaly wait for 30 minutes or an hour.
- Don’t blow up his phone if he isn’t reaching out to you at least once a week.
6) Your reputation
Another one of the reasons guys think you’re easy is because of your reputation. You don’t have complete control of what other people think or say about you, especially in your absence.
At the same time, we all have reputations that often proceed us.
Those repetitions can be good or bad. For whatever reason, if you have a reputation for being easy or hooking up with a lot of guys, then men are likely to label you as easy.
If your goal is to be seen as less easy, one of the best things you can do is live a lifestyle that challenges any bad feedback anyone gets about you. If you’re known as a girl with high standards and who doesn’t sleep with just anyone, then a man is less likely to believe that you’re easy even if he hears it from good friends.
The other thing that you can do is to have a clear and open conversation with a particular guy that you might like about your standards and expectations.
By doing so, you proactively protect your own reputation and the narrative that circulates in your social groups.
7) You sleep with them right away
Most men who describe a girl they slept with on their first date call the girl easy. Even if he doesn’t use the exact word, he infers it by his tone, content, and mannerisms.
Yes, this isn’t fair either. Obviously, if you sleep with a guy on the first date, that means he also slept with you on the first date.
It’s a double standard that maybe shouldn’t exist, but it does.
And saying that you never do this or that this is the first time you’ve had a one-night stand doesn’t really help. Few men believe these phrases. They’re more likely to judge you on your actions than your expressions.
If you want to prevent this reason, don’t sleep with a guy on a first date. Many women will sleep with a guy that they like on the second or third date. Other women choose only to sleep with men when they’re in a committed relationship. Some women save themselves for marriage.
There’s nothing right or wrong about any of these three options. Each option is going to attract a different category of men.
None of these three options are normally seen as easy.
8) You have a high body count
Another double standard that exists between men and women is the stigma of body count. The more people a girl has slept with, the more likely a man is to label her as easy.
The same rubric is rarely applied to men.
You can have sex with as many or as few people as you want. In this article, it’s important to remember that the focus is on how a guy perceives you. If you don’t care about that, no problem.
If you do care whether or not men think you’re easy, then the fewer people you sleep with, the better. Not all men (but many men) prefer women with a smaller number of sexual partners.
Small, of course, is relative. If a woman has slept with 30 or fewer men, she is probably in the small body count range. But it also depends on how old she is and the nature of these sexual partners. If a girl is 18 years old with 20 sexual partners, guys will likely label her as easy. If a woman is 40 years old with 15 or 20 sexual partners, then men are less likely to judge her as easy.
Especially if most of those partners were in committed relationships that lasted more than a few weeks or months.
9) You trust too easily
Girls who display naivety are also seen as easy. Anyone who is too trusting or naive appears easier to manipulate. This includes men and women (for once).
If you believe everything a guy says, or believe everything any guy says, a man might label you as easy. The more naive and the more trusting you are, the more likely men categorize you as easy.
Learn to balance trust with reasonable suspicion. Trust but also verify.
10) You don’t have boundaries
By definition, a woman with no boundaries is probably is easy to manipulate, use for sex, and likely has a higher body count than a woman with standards.
If you’ve never set boundaries, take an hour or a few hours and reflect on your personal limits with men. Ask yourself some reflective questions and write down your answers. Come up with 1-5 boundaries that you hold for men.
A word of warning: If you hold too many boundaries, many men will label you as “too structured” or “too much.”
List of reflection questions (examples):
- What is my ideal type of man?
- What are the nonnegotiables in a dating relationship?
- What will I allow a stranger to do with or to me?
- What must a man do before I kiss him?
- What must a man do before I sleep with him?
- What am I willing to do?
- What am I not willing to do?
Examples of boundaries:
- I don’t sleep with men on the first date.
- I don’t kiss a man unless I’m on a date (unless we are in a relationship).
- I don’t s hare my exclusive dating partners.
11) Your circumstance
Your particular circumstances also determine whether or not a man sees you as easy. If you look sad and alone, your mental state might allow a man to more easily manipulate you. If you’re on a rebound from a recent breakup or seismic shift in your life (such as getting laid off, moving to a new state, or even traveling), a man might view you as easier.
When your circumstance and mental state might make you vulnerable to manipulation, recruit a friend to help you make decisions about how you engage with men for 3 to 6 months after the breakup or other traumatic event.
You can also simply not date or only spend time with men platonically during this period of healing.
What Does it Mean When a Guy Says You’re Easy?
Ok, so now you know WHY guys might think you’re easy, but what does “easy” actually mean? The short answer is nothing good.
To summarize the 11 reasons, he might mean:
- You are too forward or masculine
- You trust too easiy
- He doesn’t trust you
- He doesn’t take you seriously
- He thinks you sleep around
- He doesn’t see you as a potential girlfriend
- He thinks you are nieve and easier to manipulate
- You don’t have any boundaries or standards
- He didn’t need to earn your attention and/or body
At the risk of overemphasizing the point, none of this is fair. No one deserves harsh judgment. We’ve all made our fair share of mistakes in life and in relationships.
What Does a Guy Think of a Girl Who is Easy to Get?
When a guy says you’re easy to get, he doesn’t think of you as relationship material and he may not take you seriously.
Some people use the term “easy” to mean that you are promiscuous, but it also means the guy does not see himself being with you in any other way than a hookup or friends with benefits situation. He can’t see himself pursuing a long-term committed relationship with you and making an honest effort to get to know the real person underneath your physical attributes.
Does he always look down on you if you make things too easy for you? No! Men like it when women open up to them and facilitate conversations, dates, and sex. It’s how (and how much) you facilitate that usually makes the difference.
Final Thoughts: Reasons Guys Think You’re Easy
You don’t need to change for anyone, including guys. Perceptions do not equal reality. However, if you want to avoid assumptions that can derail a possible romance, you might want to consider how other people see you.
Always remember: sometimes the reasons guys think you’re easy have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Here are some related questions you might want to explore next:
- When is the best and easiest time to date—College or after college?
- What is platonic dating and how does it work?
- What’s the best way to look at dating? Is dating a dance, a war, a game?