Do Guys Like Assertive Girls? (Answered)

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Strong, assertive girls often wonder what guys think of them.

Do guys like assertive girls?

Guys like assertive girls. Guys like girls who assertively text them, approach them, flirt with them, ask them out, and ask for what they want. Guys appreciate girls who speak directly. Guys do not like arrogant, bossy, or aggressive girls.

In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about why guys like assertive girls.

10 Reasons Guys Like Assertive Girls

Red headed girl holding up her index finger—Do Guys Like Assertive Girls
Image by the author via Canva—Do Guys Like Assertive Girls?

There are 10 good reasons that guys like assertive and straightforward girls.

Here are the ten reasons:

  1. No beating around the bush
  2. They know what they want
  3. They are confident and secure
  4. They are independent (and not needy)
  5. It’s refreshing
  6. They are passionate about life
  7. Strong sense of self-respect
  8. Guys like to feel wanted
  9. They are usually more social and fun
  10. Successful in life

1) No Beating Around the Bush

Guys like girls who are upfront and honest. They don’t like girls who play games or who beat around the bush.

What exactly is “beating around the bush?”

Beating around the bush means avoiding speaking directly about something.

In other words, it’s a way of hedging, of not saying what you really mean. And in my experience, assertive girls don’t do that.

They say what they mean, and they mean what they say.

Guys don’t have to read their minds or guess how they feel—and that matches most guys’ appreciation for clarity.

2) They Know What They Want

Assertive girls know what they want and express it without hesitation or shame.

That’s the kind of authenticity and openness that guys like.

Assertive girls don’t hold back, repress their feelings, or bottle up their desires.

And guys appreciate girls who know how to speak up for themselves and go after what they want.

3) Confident and Secure

On the surface, assertiveness and self-love may seem like two completely different traits.

After all, assertiveness is about speaking up for oneself and being proactive, while self-love is about having a positive attitude and high self-esteem.

However, these two qualities are actually more closely linked than you might think.

When a girl is assertive, it shows that she is confident and secure in herself. This type of inner confidence is incredibly attractive to men.

4) They Are Independent (And Not Needy)

Assertive girls are independent and not needy.

They don’t need a partner to feel whole or complete. They can take care of their own needs.

They are a whole person who isn’t trying to fix their own brokenness through dating.

Instead, they are able to be present in a relationship and give it their all. They don’t try to control or change their partner.

Instead, they accept partners for who they are and work with them to build a healthy, supportive relationship.

It’s no surprise that guys like all of this and don’t like the opposite.

5) It’s Refreshing

For a long time, society has taught women to be quiet, to smile, and never speak up.

We have been told that assertiveness is not feminine and that girls should always defer to men.

But I’m here to tell you that assertive women are refreshing.

When you give yourself permission to be your true self, it is liberating for everyone.

Assertive women are cultural pioneers. They are the change-makers.

Therefore, guys appreciate and respect the uniqueness of an assertive girl.

6) Passionate About Life

Passionate women who love life are incredibly magnetic.

They light up a room when they walk in and they’re always up for anything. They’re the ones who are always game to try new things, go on new adventures, and meet new people.

They’re also the ones to which guys are naturally drawn.

There’s just something about a woman who is passionate about life that is irresistible.

Guys are drawn to their energy, their enthusiasm, and their zest for life.

7) Strong Sense of Self-Respect

Self-respect is an underappreciated but pivotal quality for attractive girls.

Women who respect themselves have high standards and know their worth. They’re not afraid to set boundaries and stand up for what they believe.

Most importantly, they hold themselves accountable and don’t need constant validation from others.

Guys like girls who respect themselves.

8) Guys Like To Feel Wanted

Dating can be hard for everyone, but it can be especially challenging for guys.

They are often the ones who have to make the first move, and they can often feel like they’re constantly being rejected.

That’s why guys like girls who message first on dating apps, text first, approach them at the bar, buy them drinks, and ask them out. It makes them feel wanted and desired.

They know that the girl is interested in them and that she’s willing to take the initiative.

9) Social and Friendly

Assertive girls are often volunteering for things, mingling at parties, and looking to make new friends.

They’re the life of the party, and guys are drawn to their irresistible energy.

Assertive girls often have a strong social circle, and they value their close friendships.

They’re the kind of people who are always up for a night out on the town, and they know how to have a good time. Guys like that in a partner because it means they’ll never be bored.

10) Successful in Life

Guys like assertive girls because assertive girls are usually successful in life.

They usually have good jobs, make good money, and are going places. They are movers and shakers with compelling goals.

Guys prefer this to girls who don’t have any vision for the future, struggle financially, or don’t have any clear motivation.

Assertive girls know what they want out of life and they go after it with gusto.

This is an attractive quality to guys because it shows that they are capable and driven. When a guy is looking for a long-term partner, he wants someone with whom to build an empire.

Assertive girls fit this bill perfectly.

Do Guys Like Directness?

Guys like girls who are direct.

But there is a fine line between being direct and being rude or disrespectful.

This can be a difficult social equation to navigate in real life. Tone, body language, and word choice all play a role.

However, if you can master the art of being direct without being dominate, you’ll find that guys will appreciate your straightforwardness.

Here is a good video about the kind of confidence and directness that guys find almost irresistible:

Men LOVE Confident Women (Seriously...We Do)
YouTube video by Love Strategies—Do Guys Like Assertive Girls?

Do Guys Think Confidence Is Hot?

Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a woman can possess.

Speaking from a guy’s perspective, confidence is incredibly hot.

Part of it is because not being confident turns guys off.

It can signal that you have unresolved emotional issues, which can make relationships difficult.

Guys tend to avoid non-confident girls for long-term relationships.

That’s because most guys don’t want to deal with the potential drama.

Do Guys Like Bossy Girls?

Guys do not like bossy girls.

There is a big difference between being assertive and bossy. Assertiveness is about being confident and standing up for yourself, while bossiness is about trying to control others and dictate their behavior.

Guys generally don’t like being told what to do, especially by someone who is bossy and demanding.

Bossy women tend to come across as naggy and controlling, which can quickly turn a guy off.

Do Guys Like Sexually Bold Girls?

When it comes to the bedroom, men are often seen as the more aggressive partner.

However, that doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate a woman who knows what she wants.

In fact, many guys find it incredibly sexy when a woman is willing to take charge in the bedroom. There’s something about a confident woman who isn’t afraid to speak her mind that really gets a guy going.

Sexually bold girls are also usually pretty good at giving directions, which can be a major turn-on for guys who like to be in control.

If you’re looking to turn up the heat in your love life, don’t be afraid to take the lead. Your guy will definitely thank you for it.

Final Thoughts: Do Guys Like Assertive Girls?

Ultimately, each guy has his personal preference. Some guys like shy introverted girls. Others prefer bold, assertive girls.

Most guys prefer assertiveness tempered with grace, feminity, and kindness.

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Source

Society for Personality and Social Psychology