Have you ever ghosted a guy and then regret it? If so, you’re not alone. It can be hard to face the consequences of our actions and take the steps to make things right.
But how do you do it?
Here’s how to get a guy back after ghosting him:
Get a guy back after ghosting him by recognizing the painful feelings you caused, apologizing, and taking full responsibility for your actions. Ask him for forgiveness, demonstrate behaviors that show he can now trust you, and start slowly building a new, healthy relationship.
In this article, we’ll explore all the best strategies for how to get a guy back after ghosting him.
9 Best Ways To Get a Guy Back After Ghosting Him
Don’t worry – if you’re ready to take responsibility for your actions and try to fix the broken relationship, it is possible to get a guy back after ghosting him.
However, it won’t be easy.
Here are the nine best ways I know to get a guy back after ghosting him.
1) Recognize the Impact of Ghosting
The first step is acknowledging that you did, in fact, ghost them.
Ghosting is the practice of ending a relationship with someone by cutting off all communication without explanation. It can be a difficult and hurtful experience for both parties involved.
It can lead to anger, confusion, and feelings of betrayal.
You must face the truth of your ghosting, including all of those unpleasant feelings. This is not the time to make excuses or minimize the situation.
Recognizing the impact of ghosting is a key step in mending a broken relationship.
It can be difficult to take the first step, but it is important to do so in order to start the process of rebuilding.
You must accept and validate the hurt you’ve caused as part of the healing process.
2) Establish an Open Dialogue
You can broach the possibility of getting back together by establishing an open dialogue.
This means being completely honest with him, not avoiding the issue, and being willing to listen to his perspective and feelings.
Not only will this help you to understand where he is coming from, but it will also show him that you are willing to listen and make amends.
When having this conversation, you should be prepared to hear uncomfortable truths about yourself and your behavior.
In a text message, you might say:
I wanted to talk to you about what happened between us. I know it may be hard for both of us to revisit the past but I still care about you and would like to have an honest discussion with you.
Can we chat sometime soon? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
If you’re going to try to recapture the heart of a guy you ghosted, then you probably want to talk in person.
Or, at the least, on video chat.
3) Apologize for the Hurt You’ve Caused
When you’ve wronged someone, it can be difficult to apologize.
However, it is an essential step to take if you want to make amends and get a guy back after ghosting him. To start, you should explain the circumstances that led you to ghost him and the feelings that motivated you.
Remember, this is an honest explanation, not defensive excuse-making.
Show him that you recognize that what you did was childish and wrong. Acknowledge the extent of the pain you’ve caused, and let him know you regret your actions.
Many people dance around the language of an apology.
I find it much more helpful to directly say something like the following:
“I’m so sorry for ghosting you. I was wrong and you didn’t deserve that. Even though I was going through a rough time, it was no excuse for not communicating. I apologize and know that was probably very hurtful. I hope that you can forgive me and give me another change.”
4) Take Responsibility for Your Actions
You also want to clearly take responsibility for ghosting.
Assuming responsibility after ghosting someone means bravely claiming your choices and accepting the consequences of your choices.
Although it might not make the situation better, it’s important to take responsibility to provide closure to them and avoid further misunderstandings.
If the guy hears even a hint of you blaming someone or something else for you ghosting them, you won’t get him back.
Take 100% accountability for ghosting them.
That’s your best chance at forgiveness and a second go at a relationship with them.
5) Make Small Gestures to Show You Care
Once you have apologized and taken responsibility for your actions, you can start to make small gestures to show that you care and are genuinely sorry for the hurt you’ve caused.
It’s important to note that this won’t fix the hurt overnight, but it can help to slowly re-establish trust.
Small gestures might include:
- Texting to see how they are doing
- Being consistent
- Making small promises and fulfilling them
- Putting in effort
- Sending a heartfelt letter
- Buying a small gift
- Taking the time to call or video chat
It’s important to make sure the gesture is thoughtful, sincere, and tailored to the person you are trying to win back.
6) Explore Ways to Make Up for Lost Time
You make up for the lost time by looking toward the future.
Don’t dwell on the past – instead, focus on rebuilding a new foundation for the relationship.
Spend time together – but don’t rush it. Start by going out together frequently, but in short bursts of time rather than trying to recreate all the long conversations and moments that were missed while you were gone.
This will allow both of you to get used to each other again without being overwhelmed by too much information or emotions at once.
Share new experiences together.
Do something new and exciting together – from visiting a local park or museum, going out for drinks, or taking a cooking class.
Basically, anything that allows both of you to reconnect with fresh eyes and hearts instead of simply dwelling on the past events that pulled you apart.
7) Work Towards Re-building Trust
Ghosting is a cowardly way of ending a relationship and can be hurtful to the person left behind.
The recipient is then left with unresolved feelings and a sense of betrayal, which can make it difficult for them to trust again.
But if you have ghosted someone in the past, it’s not too late to repair that trust.
Here are some tips on how to do just that:
- Rebuild trust slowly – After apologizing, focus on rebuilding trust one step at a time. This could involve spending more quality time together, engaging in activities that promote communication and understanding, or simply being more open about your thoughts or feelings going forward.
- Be patient – Establishing trust takes time, so don’t expect it to happen overnight – be patient and stay consistent in showing through your actions that you are reliable and trustworthy.
- Be reliable – Whether it’s showing up five minutes early to a meeting or delivering what was promised, demonstrating that you mean what you say is fundamental for rebuilding connections. When making promises, under-promise, and over-deliver so your counterpart never feels let down.
On top of reliability, being genuine, keeping your word, and honoring commitments are all essential steps to rebuilding trust.
If you want to demonstrate trustworthiness in your renewed relationship, remember: actions always speak louder than words.
8) Reestablish a Healthy Relationship
It is important to look towards the future and start afresh.
Talk about the things you have in common and the shared values that bring you together. Focus on the positive.
This is a chance to build an even stronger relationship and create a brighter future together. It may take some time to recover, but if you start off on the right foot, the possibilities are endless.
Other ways to reestablish a healthy relationship include:
- Support each other
- Meet each other’s needs
- Have your own hobbies
- Put equal effort in
- Compliment each other
9) Know When To Move On
Making the decision to end a relationship can be difficult and emotional.
One situation particularly challenging is when someone attempts to return after ghosting, but it does not work out. It might feel like you need to know why it didn’t work or what went wrong.
But ultimately if someone is unable or unwilling to reconcile, then it is time to move on.
These are signs that it’s time to move on:
- They take forever to text you back
- They seem wishy-washy
- They don’t set definite dates
- They cancel and/or rescheduled dates
- They keep bringing up the ghosting
You should take some time to reflect on the relationship, process your feelings and remember the good memories, while also letting go of any anger or regret.
Over time these difficult emotions will likely lessen, allowing you to focus on the positive path ahead of you and create new experiences that are right for you.
What You Need To Get a Guy Back That You Ghosted
If you’re going to try to get a guy back, you’ll need a few things.
- The right attitude
- The right look
- The right language
When it comes to getting a guy back after you ghosted them, it pays to have the right attitude.
Humility and self-accountability are paramount. You’ll need to take ownership of your actions and be respectful of their feelings. Showing gratitude for the relationship you had and highlighting the positive elements of your past together is a great way to start.
Entitlement, bossiness, and playing games may have worked in high school.
But, these days, that kind of behavior won’t get anybody anywhere in relationships.
When it comes to looks, we all know being healthy and attractive never hurts. Good grooming goes a long way, too. Maybe upgrade your style with some baddie date night outfits.
Have some fun with makeup if that’s your thing.
Most importantly, use language that triggers familiarity, connection, trust, and commitment.
That means using the Obsession Phrase Master List (40 Examples).
Before you go, here’s a good video about what to do after you mess up with a guy:
Should You Get Back With a Guy You Ghosted?
When it comes to whether you should get back with someone you ghosted, my honest answer is usually no.
Even if it seems like a logical idea at the time, more often than not it will not work out in the end.
You ghosted them for a reason – probably because they were not your ideal match or because you had better options at the time. Additionally, the person likely wasn’t totally happy with being ghosted.
Entirely too much would need to go right in order for any reconciliation to work out and the odds simply aren’t in your favor.
It’s generally easier to try your luck with someone new rather than attempting to repair an already-broken relationship that never truly got off the ground.
Final Thoughts: How To Get a Guy Back After Ghosting Him
My best advice is to chock up the experience as a learning opportunity, apologize, and avoid ghosting anyone in the future.
Don’t settle for someone you ditched before – you deserve more and so do they.
Read This Next:
- What Would Make a Man Worship a Woman? (17 Best Ways)
- How To Ask for a Second Chance in a Relationship (Solved)
- Personal experience
- Sagepub (research about rekindling relationships and self-concept)