It’s confusing when guys cheat at the beginning of a new relationship—especially when the relationship is good.
Why do guys cheat early in a relationship?
Guys cheat early in a relationship because they have a lower emotional attachment, do not see a future for the relationship, possess poor character, and are not getting their needs met in the relationship. Guys might also cheat because they want variety, revenge, excitement, or an ego boost.
In this article, we’ll explore the 9 main reasons guys cheat early in a relationship.
9 Reasons that Guys Cheat Early in a Relationship
There are 9 reasons that guys might cheat early in a relationship.
While not all reasons apply to all guys who cheat, it’s important to know all of the reasons so that you completely understand a guy’s motivations.
Here are the 9 reasons.
1) Low Attachment
Guys tend to be more commitment-phobic than girls. And when it comes to relationships, this can manifest itself in a number of ways.
One common reason why guys cheat early on in a relationship is that they haven’t yet developed a strong emotional attachment to their partner. They may still be getting to know them and haven’t yet invested the time and energy needed to form a deep connection.
Therefore, if a guy is feeling restless or unsatisfied, they’re more likely to stray.
Another reason why low commitment can lead to cheating is that guys are more likely to act on impulse.
If they’re not fully invested in a relationship, they’re less likely to think about the consequences of their actions. They may be more likely to take risks and engage in risky behavior, including cheating.
2) Unmet Needs
One of the main reasons guys cheat early in relationships is because of unmet physical and emotional needs.
This can be anything from wanting more physical intimacy to emotional needs like feeling neglected or not romantically connected to their partner.
If a guy feels like his needs aren’t being met, he’s more likely to look elsewhere to fulfill them.
3) Need for Variety
The novelty of the relationship can quickly wear off, leaving both partners feeling bored and restless.
For some guys, the solution to this problem is to cheat.
By seeking out new partners, they are able to reignite the spark and keep the excitement alive. They might want to experience new personalities, body types, or cultures.
Why do guys cheat early in a relationship?
Guys sometimes cheat early in a relationship because they want revenge.
If a guy feels like he’s been wronged by his partner—whether it’s because of an argument or because she made him feel jealous—he may feel the need to take revenge by cheating on her.
This is usually a short-term solution that doesn’t end well, as the guy usually ends up feeling guilty and causing even more problems in the relationship.
Take, for example, the case of my friend John and his girlfriend Lula.
They had been dating for a couple of months when they got into their first big argument. The fight started because Jane had been texting her ex. She claimed that they were just friends, but John didn’t believe him.
In the heat of the argument, Jane said some things that she regretted.
She called John an obsessive and controlling guy who didn’t know how to have a mature, emotional relationship.
Needless to say, John was hurt by her words.
The fight ended with John storming out. Instead of working things out or breaking up with her, John decided to take revenge by cheating on her.
He knew that it would hurt her just as much as she had hurt him.
And so, he slept with another girl and then went back to Jane acting as if nothing had happened.
Of course, Jane eventually found out and it led to the end of their relationship.
When a guy is first getting to know a girl, he is more likely to be introduced to her friends and given the opportunity to meet other women.
This can create a perfect storm for cheating.
If the guy is not fully invested in the relationship and is still trying to figure out his feelings, he might be more tempted to take advantage of the opportunity to cheat.
Additionally, at the beginning of a relationship, the labels are often murky.
The relationship might not yet be exclusive, which can give the guy permission to cheat in his own mind.
6) Don’t See a Strong Future
When someone cheats early in a relationship, it’s often a sign that they’re not planning on being in the relationship for very long.
There are a number of reasons why someone might not see a future with their partner.
Perhaps they’re not compatible personality-wise or they have different goals and aspirations. Maybe they’re just not feeling the spark or connection that they’re looking for in a serious relationship.
As you might expect, if someone doesn’t see a future with their partner, they’re much more likely to cheat.
After all, they might not see the reason to invest a lot of time and energy into something that’s not going to last.
7) High Drive
Guys might cheat because they are not physically satisfied with one partner.
The physical drive is often a need for physical contact. The need for physical intimacy is often an unfulfilled desire for affection. Unfortunately, cheating can be a way to get that physical contact, even if it is only temporary.
Anytime there a couple encounters an imbalance in drives, the relationship is on rocky ground.
8) Ego Boost
Guys are constantly bombarded with messages telling them that they need to be “successful” with women in order to be valued.
As a result, cheating can feel like a way of proving their worth.
When a guy feels insecure, he might seek validation outside of his main relationship. Cheating makes him feel wanted, desired, and more like a “man.” Of course, outside validation is flimsy and impermanent.
Therefore, a guy who chases an ego boost through an affair will likely do it over and over again.
9) No Self Control
Guys who cheat early on tend to have one major thing in common: poor self-regulation.
In other words, they don’t have the ability to control their own behavior. This can be due to a number of factors, including immaturity and lack of character.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these.
Immaturity is often cited as a reason for cheating. After all, younger guys are less likely to be in long-term relationships and more likely to be exploring their options.
They may also be less sure of what they want in a relationship and more likely to give in to temptation.
While there’s certainly some truth to this, it’s not an excuse for cheating. Guys who are mature enough to be in a committed relationship should also be mature enough to resist temptation.
Lack of character is another common reason for cheating.
Guys who cheat are typically lacking in qualities like honesty, responsibility, and commitment. They may also be selfish and insensitive to the needs of their partner.
These shortcomings make it difficult for them to maintain a healthy relationship, and they’re more likely to give in to temptation when they see another opportunity.
Here is a good video about why guys cheat early in a relationship (Note: the video quality fluctuates but the content is gold):
What To Do When Guys Cheat Early in a Relationship?
If you’ve just been cheated on, you’re probably feeling a lot of things right now.
You might feel hurt, confused, or even angry. But it’s important to remember that cheating doesn’t always mean that the relationship is over.
In fact, it can be an opportunity to learn more about your partner and yourself.
Here are four things to keep in mind if you’ve been cheated on early in a relationship:
- Process the experience
- Don’t make rash decisions
- Recalibrate boundaries and expectations
- Forgive and move forward
Process Your Feelings
First, it’s important to take some time to process what happened.
Be honest with your partner about how you’re feeling.
If you decide to stay in the relationship, it’s important that you’re honest with your partner about the pain they’ve caused you.
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, so give yourself time to grieve and make sense of what happened. If you need to, talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate these emotions.
Avoid Rash Decisions
Second, don’t make any rash decisions.
It’s tempting to want to break up with your partner after they cheat, but try to avoid making any decisions in the heat of the moment.
If possible, take some time apart to think about what you want and whether or not you’re willing to work through this difficult time.
Rediscuss Expectations and Boundaries
After a guy cheats early in a relationship, it is important to discuss boundaries and expectations.
This is because cheating can often be a sign of underlying issues, such as a lack of communication or trust.
By discussing boundaries and expectations, you can help to ensure that both of you are on the same page and reduce the chances of cheating happening again.
Forgive and Move Forward
Furthermore, it is also important to forgive and move on from the past.
Holding onto anger and resentment will only damage the relationship further. Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and build trust again.
With time and effort, it is possible to overcome cheating and have a strong and healthy relationship.
How To Prevent Guys From Cheating Early in a Relationship
There is no surefire way to prevent guys from cheating early in a relationship.
However, there are certain things you can do to reduce the likelihood of it happening. One of the most important things is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner from the beginning.
Let him know your expectations and what you will not tolerate.
It is also important to build a strong emotional connection with him so that he feels comfortable communicating with you about anything that might be bothering him.
If you can create a supportive, open, and trusting relationship from the start, it will go a long way toward preventing cheating.
Another thing you can do is to make sure you are meeting his needs both physically and emotionally.
If he feels like he is getting everything he needs from you, he will be less likely to look elsewhere. This means being attentive and responsive to his needs, being an exciting and enthusiastic partner in bed, and taking an interest in his hobbies and passions.
Additionally, it is important to be supportive when he is going through tough times.
Since you can’t control him and his behavior, the best thing you can do is to work on yourself.
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Final Thoughts: Why Do Guys Cheat Early in a Relationship?
While not all guys cheat, those who do usually cheat for multiple reasons.
Human behavior in relationships is dynamic and complex, almost impossible to constrain to a single motivation. With that said, there is no excuse for betraying a partner.
If someone cheats on you, I highly recommend that you end the relationship and seek a more committed partner.
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