There is a strange phenomenon in dating: when a woman becomes a widow, she seems to instantly also become more attractive to many guys.
Why do guys like widows?
Guys like widows because widows possess attractive qualities, including vulnerability, commitment, appreciation, emotional maturity, and resilience. For many men, widows are compelling and thought-provoking partners who maximize their time and energy. Not all men like widows.
In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about why guys like widows.
11 Big Reasons Guys Like Widows
There are several reasons why guys tend to be drawn to widows, and in this post, we’ll explore some of the biggest ones.
We’ll delve into some of the reasons why widows are often seen as desirable partners, and what it is about their experiences that makes them so intriguing to many guys.
1) The Vulnerability Factor
When a woman becomes a widow, she goes through a difficult and emotional time in her life.
She’s likely to be more vulnerable and open to forming new connections with others, which can be a major draw for guys who are looking for someone who is genuine and authentic.
There’s something about being with someone who has experienced a loss that can bring people closer together, and many guys find that the shared experience of grief can create a deep and meaningful connection.
Plus, most men I know have an inner craving to protect others.
The vulnerability men see expressed in widowhood can be a powerful pull toward the role of protector.
I have a friend who started dating a widow a year after she lost her husband. Initially, he was hesitant to pursue a relationship because he didn’t want to feel like he was taking advantage of her vulnerable state.
However, as they got to know each other better, he realized that her vulnerability was what made her so special.
She was open and honest about her feelings, and he found that he was able to connect with her on a deeper level than he had with anyone else.
2) The Evidence of Commitment and Fidelity
Widows have experienced a significant loss in their life, and as a result, they may be more committed to their relationships and partners.
They understand the importance of loyalty and commitment.
After all, a widower did not choose to leave their partner. This doesn’t automatically make them a good person but it is a sign.
Many guys find this level of commitment and fidelity incredibly attractive, and it can make a widow an ideal partner for someone who is looking for a long-term and stable relationship.
Another friend of mine started dating a widow a few years ago, and he was immediately drawn to her commitment to her previous relationship.
He saw that she had been deeply in love with her late husband and that she had taken her marriage vows seriously.
He knew that if he was going to pursue a relationship with her, he would need to be just as committed and loyal as she was.
This mutual understanding of the importance of fidelity has been a cornerstone of their relationship. And, might I say, it is beautiful.
3) The Maturity Factor
Widows are often older women who have lived through significant life experiences.
They’re likely to be more emotionally mature and grounded than someone who hasn’t experienced loss. They know what they want out of life and in a partner, and they’re more likely to be ready for something serious and long-term.
A guy friend I met online started dating a widow in his late 30s.
He had been dating around for a while and was starting to feel disillusioned with the dating scene. When he met Jane (the widow), he was immediately struck by her maturity and emotional intelligence.
He felt like he could have real conversations with her about important topics, and that she was someone who he could build a future with.
4) The Appreciation for the Present
Widows know what it’s like to lose someone they love, and they often have a deep appreciation for the present moment.
They understand that life is short and that it’s important to make the most of every day.
This can be a major draw for guys who are looking for someone who is focused on living life to the fullest.
This story is about me.
I started dating a widow who had lost her military husband in a tragic manner (I won’t elaborate but you can imagine). She actually found him, which is brutal and unimaginable.
When I met her on a dating app, I was drawn to her positive outlook on life, even in the face of such a devastating loss.
She was always looking for ways to make the most of each day and to appreciate the good things in life.
While our relationship did not pan out, we parted on good terms and I know she will make someone an awesome partner one day.
5) The Ability To Handle Tough Times
Widows have been through tough times and have shown that they can handle adversity.
Guys want someone who is resilient and able to handle the ups and downs of life. A widow’s capacity to cope with loss can be a major asset in a relationship, as it can help both partners weather difficult times together.
“Still standing. I think this is a pretty good description of where I was at this point.”
– Jenny Lisk
No guy wants to date a woman who will bail out at the first sign of trouble.
That’s terrifying to men. We want and need partners who will press through the difficulty with us. Someone who has grit and staying power for the long haul of life.
6) Her Self-Growth Journey
After the loss of a partner, many widows go through a journey of self-discovery and growth.
They may seek therapy or counseling to help them cope with their grief and loss, and as a result, they may become more self-aware and emotionally intelligent.
A friend of mine started dating a widow who had been through therapy after the loss of her husband.
He was struck by how self-aware she was and how much she had grown as a person. She was able to communicate her needs and feelings clearly and was incredibly empathetic toward others.
He found that being with her helped him to become more emotionally intelligent as well.
7) Her Independence
Contrary to a somewhat popular belief, most guys like independent women.
Not bossy or masculine women but women, like widows, who have learned to be self-sufficient. A widow’s ability to take care of herself can be a major asset in a relationship, as it can help to take some of the pressure off of her partner.
That’s not to say those guys won’t want to take care of her.
But healthy men don’t want dependents. We want fully-functioning adults who can manage themselves but still want a good partner.
8) She Maximizes Her Time and Energy
It’s not uncommon for the years after losing a significant other to be full of awkward social situations, loneliness, and – while there is healing happening – a sense of wasted time.
Although that realization might come later (even years later).
Once it does, a widow begins to maximize her time. She stops procrastinating on her bucket list. She takes action and makes the most of every opportunity for fun and adventure.
She might travel the world, launch a new business, or go back to school.
This sense of purpose and drive can be incredibly attractive to guys who are looking for someone who is independent, ambitious, and self-motivated.
“You meet a lot of people and have a lot of experiences, and they color you and stay with you – but I’m not the grieving widow. Life is much more complicated and interesting and full of zigs and zags than that.”
– Emmylou Harris
9) Her Communication Is Top Notch
Widows have had to learn how to communicate effectively after the loss of their partner.
And good communication is attractive. Widows can express their feelings and needs. They know the power and potential of gentle clarity. This makes a widow an ideal partner for someone who values open and honest communication.
Again, that’s something a healthy man will want in a relationship.
10) The Absence of Games Widows
Widows don’t have time for games or drama.
They know what they want and what they don’t want, and they are more likely to be upfront and honest about their feelings and intentions. This can be refreshing for guys who are tired of playing games or dealing with ambiguity in their relationships.
If you’re interested in dating a widow, it’s important to be honest and straightforward with her as well.
Don’t play games or try to manipulate her emotions, as this will likely backfire and damage the trust that you’ve built together. Instead, be clear about your intentions and communicate openly and honestly with her.
11) She Has the Strength to Love Again
After experiencing the loss of a spouse, many widows may wonder if they will ever be able to love again.
While the journey towards opening up one’s heart can be a difficult and emotional one, many widows do find love again. This strength and resilience is attractive to men who are looking for someone who is open to love and commitment.
A widow’s ability to love again is a testament to her inner strength and emotional fortitude.
Ultimately, men want and need a strong, loving relationship with a good woman.
Check out this good video about even more reasons why guys like widows:
Why Do Older Guys Like Widows?
Older guys may be particularly fond of widows for a variety of reasons.
Here are a few possibilities:
- Shared Life Experiences. Older guys may be more likely to have experienced loss themselves, and may therefore be able to connect with a widow on a deeper level. They may also appreciate the wisdom and perspective that widows bring to the table.
- Maturity Momentum. Widows are often older women with lots of life experience. They may be more mature than someone who hasn’t experienced loss.
- Grounded and Stable. Widows have been through a significant life change, and may be more stable and grounded as a result. This can be a major factor for older guys who are looking for someone who is settled and established in life.
Why Do Younger Guys Like Widows?
Younger guys may also be drawn to widows, for different reasons.
In my experience, here are some of those reasons:
- Emotional Vibrancy. Widows have navigated complex emotions and grief, which can make them incredibly emotionally intelligent. Younger guys may be magnetized to this level of self-awareness and depth.
- Massive Gratitude. Widows often have a deep appreciation for each and every moment, as they have experienced the fragility of life firsthand. This can be attractive to younger guys who are looking for someone who is focused on living in the present and making the most of every day.
- Major Maturity. Like older guys, younger guys may be drawn to the maturity and emotional balance that widows possess. They may find that they are able to connect with a widow on a deeper level than with someone who is less experienced and mature.
Final Thoughts: Why Do Guys Like Widows?
These are just a few more reasons why guys like widows.
It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and not all guys will be drawn to the same qualities in a partner. However, for many, the experiences and qualities that widows possess can make them incredibly attractive and desirable partners.
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