Why Do Guys Not Find Me Attractive? (11 Top Reasons)

It’s not always obvious why guys do not seem to approach you, ask you out, or text you back.

You might ask yourself, Why do guys not find me attractive?

Guys might not find you attractive because you do not match what men are biologically hardwired to find traditionally attractive. You might have a bad attitude or act entitled. You might also not be feminine and have not yet cultivated the qualities that attract most men.

In this article, you will learn everything you need to know about why guys don’t find you attractive.

11 Reasons Guys Do Not Find You Attractive

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Attractive woman looking confused - Why Do Guys Not Find Me Attractive
I made this image – Why Do Guys Not Find Me Attractive?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but there are 11 good reasons a guy might not find you attractive.

Some reasons are general and others quite personal and specific to the individual guy. We all have preferences.

However, there are clear patterns that I’ve seen in my own life and in the lives of thousands of men with whom I interact around the world. Let’s explore the most common possible reasons.

1) You Are Not Traditionally Attractive

Men are biologically programmed to find certain types of women more attractive.

That’s why most supermodels are tall, thin, and young. However, when it comes to being attractive, everyone has different tastes and preferences.

While one person may find a certain look hitting all the right notes for them, another person may not be into the same “style” of attractiveness.

For some guys, an average to above-average facial symmetry can carry more weight for them than for others, which might make you less attractive to that particular guy.

Yet, every woman is probably attractive to one guy or another.

2) You Have a Bad Attitude

At the same time, however, beauty is far from skin deep; a bad attitude or being someone who generally comes off as argumentative can also be an immediate turn-off.

Nobody enjoys talking with someone who has a negative mindset.

Most guys seek peace in a partner, not someone who is constantly trying to pick fights over small details – even if there’s no malicious intent.

You can be a 10 out of 10 in the looks department but a bad attitude can make guys not find you attractive.

3) You Act Entitled

Entitlement can also set off all sorts of alarms when it comes to attracting attention – whether it’s subtle comments about things you think you’re owed due to your gender, class, or other factors.

This can quickly rub someone the wrong way and turn them away from you for good.

Everyone deserves respect and nobody loves feeling belittled in their interactions with others. Doing so could make potential suitors stay far away from you.

4) You Are Not Feminine

Girls who embrace their inner boss babe and project more masculine energy often find themselves wondering why men aren’t as attracted to them as they’d like.

In fact, many men are naturally drawn to traditionally feminine traits – kindness, gentleness, thoughtfulness, and warmth.

This is the complete opposite of many of the characteristics associated with masculinity such as strength and assertiveness. That doesn’t mean that you should make yourself someone you’re not in order to attract guys.

It just means that tap into some of your softer qualities if you want to put your best foot forward. Embrace biology and don’t be afraid to show your feminine self.

5) You Are Mean or Cruel

It’s important to remember that personality can play a key role in the kind of attraction and connection someone feels toward you.

If you’re mean or cruel, not only will it make other people feel bad, but it will cause them to stop finding you attractive, even if your physical appearance is good.

It’s all about forming positive connections with others.

That’s why being kind and showing genuine care for those around you is so important when cultivating relationships and attracting others.

If you want to be attractive to guys or anyone else for that matter, focus on being supportive and being a friend who can brighten somebody’s day.

People come first – looks fade over time but the way we interact with each other lasts forever.

6) You Are Older

It’s no secret that men tend to value youth and beauty over age and experience.

This has been the case since ancient times, with societies adoring young women as symbols of hope and growth to come.

This same thought process often applies to modern relationships – many guys might shy away from an older woman because they want a partner who will stay young-looking for longer, or because they don’t believe that someone much older than them can have anything in common with them.

That said, the fact that someone is older doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not attractive.

Personal charisma, humor, and intelligence can easily offset an age difference.

7) You Do Not Have a Sense of Humor

Most guys prefer women with a sense of humor.

That can mean many things:

  • You like to laugh
  • You can be goofy
  • You don’t take yourself too seriously

Keep in mind that research clearly shows that men like women who laugh at their jokes. So, you don’t have to be a comedian yourself. Just joke and laugh with them.

If you are always serious or not finding men funny, you may find that guys are not as attracted to you.

8) Your Dating History

As much as you might hate to hear it, your past dating history can make or break attraction.

Most guys prefer to date someone with less of a dating history.

If you have dated lots of men, that might make guys less attracted to you – or, at the very least, less likely to want a serious relationship with you.

It might not be fair, but it’s the reality of dating men.

Your past definitely plays a role in your attractiveness to guys. That’s why it’s important to predict future consequences in love just as it is in other areas of your life such as health and your career.

Before every choice you make, consider how it will impact your future.

9) You Don’t See The Attraction

If you’re only paying attention to a select percentage of men, you might be missing out on potential suitors.

Many average men out there probably find you attractive and they might be ready to start a meaningful relationship with you. Unfortunately, they’re going largely unnoticed because your attention is focused on those above six feet tall, rich, successful, and handsome.

Women often overlook the kindhearted men who aren’t necessarily in the upper echelon of society.

These guys may not have flashy cars or tons of money to flaunt but they can offer so much more when it comes to companionship and building a healthy relationship.

Money and good looks don’t make for strong bonds; love does. So keep an open mind when dating.

10) You Have Not Cultivated Qualities That Attract Men

When it comes to what qualities most men find attractive, there are certainly some “universal” ones that will draw attention no matter the kind of man you’re trying to attract.

Men tend to be attracted to women who embody kindness, softness, sweetness, and pleasantness.

These are traits often associated with femininity.

Men also appreciate women who are self-aware, humble, and take personal accountability for their words and actions; these qualities make someone a pleasure to be around.

However, the qualities depend on what type of man you aim to attract.

A masculine or traditional individual might have different preferences than a more modern man.

A masculine man may desire a partner who is more feminine in her values while a traditional individual may yearn for a woman grounded in more traditional values like being able to cook and manage a household.

Lastly, a modern man likely appreciates a woman who can help finance their joint lifestyle since he himself is career-focused.

Ultimately, it pays off to know which qualities would best capture the heart of the type of man you pursue.

11) You Don’t Understand Male Attraction

Many women believe that high education and a good income will attract guys.

Yet, it can have the opposite effect. At best, a man is neither more nor less attracted to a woman based on her education and career. To men, your physical and personality traits matter much more than your degree or tax bracket.

There is nothing wrong with ambition, intelligence, or education.

However, don’t fall into the false belief that these things will make you attractive to men.

Instead, focus on what actually does attract them.

Here is a video that will help you figure out if men are truly not attracted to you:

YouTube video by Tik Tok News – Why Do Guys Not Find Me Attractive?

What To Do If You Are Not Attractive To Men

Making yourself more attractive to men may seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be.

Start with small changes and keep these 5 tips in mind:

  1. Develop Positive Confidence – Attractiveness is about more than what you look like on the outside. It is about how you feel and carry yourself. Positive confidence will make you more appealing to me as it shows that you respect and appreciate yourself enough, to strive for your goals and dreams.
  2. Get Healthy and Fit – Eating nutritious food, finding time to work out, and drinking plenty of water are essential for any fitness goal and can help you radiate healthiness. Both looking and feeling good can make you more confident in yourself, which in turn makes you even more attractive.
  3. Eliminate Drama – To be more attractive to men, it is important to eliminate unnecessary drama from your life. This means avoiding situations that foster negative feelings such as anger, bitterness, and animosity.
  4. Highlight Feminity – Being feminine is a great way to be more attractive to men, as it celebrates traditionally feminine qualities such as grace, charm, and inner beauty.
  5. Embrace Realistic Expectations – I don’t want you to lower your expectations but I do suggest that you accept realistic expectations. I’m not dating supermodels. If you have a history of going after men who do not like you or want to commit to you, then you may want to date a different type of guy.

Final Thoughts: Why Do Guys Not Find Me Attractive?

Ultimately, to be attractive, you must do two things: love yourself and become the kind of person the people you want find attractive.

You can also freely choose to not change at all.

The beauty of the human condition is that we all get to make our own decisions and live with our results.

Related posts:


National Institute of Health (Research on Evolutionary Attractiveness)
Fronteirsin.org (Research on Attractiveness)