Why Do Guys Talk About Themselves So Much? (Explained)

As a guy, I know we sometimes like to talk about ourselves too much. There are many possible reasons.

Why do guys talk about themselves so much? 

Guys talk about themselves so much because they feel nervous, they want to impress someone, they are insecure and need constant validation, they simply don’t know how to carry on a conversation, they hope other people will open up, or they might be narcissists.

 In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about why guys talk about themselves so much.

9 Reasons Guys Talk About Themselves So Much

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Guy on phone—Why Do Guys Talk About Themselves So Much
Image by the author via Canva—Why Do Guys Talk About Themselves So Much?

There are nine main reasons guys talk about themselves so much.

Let’s dive into them, one by one.

1. They’re Trying to Impress You

When a guy is constantly talking about himself, it’s often because he’s trying to impress you.

They want to show off their accomplishments and skills in the hopes that it will make you more interested in them. He wants you to think that he’s interesting and worth your time.

Sometimes, he’s fishing for compliments and hoping that you’ll find him as intriguing as he finds himself.

Unfortunately, this can often have the opposite effect.

It can come across as bragging or being self-centered.

2. They’re Nervous

Guys may talk about themselves more than usual because they’re feeling nervous and want to fill the silence.

Dates can be nerve-wracking, especially if it’s the first date. Talking about themselves is a way to distract from the nerves and make conversation.

He’s worried that he’s going to say something wrong or that he’s going to make a fool of himself.

He’s trying to fill the silence with the sound of his own voice in order to calm himself down.

3. They Don’t Know Much About You Yet

Since guys don’t know much about you yet, they may default to talking about themselves.

This is especially common on first dates when both parties are still getting to know each other and may not have a lot in common yet.

The more you get to know each other, the less one-sided the conversation will become.

Nobody likes awkward silences, so guys may talk about themselves more in order to avoid them.

Filling the silence with conversation can help keep the date from feeling awkward.

4. They’re Trying To Make Conversation

In some cases, a guy might talk about himself because he’s trying to make conversation.

He doesn’t really know what to say so he falls back on talking about himself. He’s hoping that you’ll find something that he says interesting and that you’ll respond

In some cases, guys may talk about themselves more because they simply don’t know what else to say.

When the conversation starts to lull, they may default to talking about themselves in order to fill the silence.

This is often seen as a bad thing, but it doesn’t have to be. If both parties are comfortable with it, it can actually help keep the conversation going.

5. They’re Hoping You’ll Open Up, Too

By sharing information about themselves, they’re hoping you’ll feel more comfortable and be more likely to open up, too.

When guys talk about themselves, they’re sometimes hoping you’ll do the same.

Asking questions is a vital part of getting to know someone. Some guys worry that they’ll come across as interviewing their date if they ask too many questions.

This can make the conversation one-sided and less enjoyable for both parties.

 As a result, they may default to talking about themselves instead.

6. They Think It’s What You Want To Talk About

A guy might talk about himself because he believes that it’s what you want to talk about.

He’s under the impression that you’re interested in him and that you want to hear about his life. He’s mistakenly assuming that you find him as interesting as he finds himself.

Another possibility is that the guy simply wants to keep the conversation going.

He’s worried that if he doesn’t keep talking, you’ll lose interest and you’ll walk away. He’s trying to prevent that from happening by constantly talking about himself.

7. Some Guys Are Narcissists

Narcissists are another possible explanation for why guys talk about themselves so much.

Narcissists tend to be very self-centered and think highly of themselves, So it makes sense that they would want to talk about themselves all the time.

Narcissists are always trying to prove that they’re better than everyone else.

So if your guy is always trying to one-up you, it’s a sign that he’s a narcissist.

8. They’re Insecure

In some cases, a guy might talk about himself because he’s insecure and he’s looking for validation.

He needs to hear himself talk in order to feel good about himself.

He’s looking for reassurance that he’s worth your attention and that he’s interesting enough for you to want to listen to him.

They might not feel good enough, so they try to compensate by bragging about their accomplishments or talking up their own skills.

He’s not really interested in you or the conversation, he just wants to hear himself talk.

He’s filling up the silence with the sound of his own voice because he can’t think of anything better to do.

9. They’re Self-Absorbed

In some cases, a guy might talk about himself because he’s simply self-absorbed.

He’s not really interested in you or the conversation, he just wants to hear himself talk.

He’s the center of his own universe and everything revolves around him.

He might not be clinically narcissistic, but the guy is egotistical, and he’s only interested in himself. He doesn’t care about you or the conversation.

He just wants to talk about himself.

He’s full of himself and he thinks that he’s the most interesting person in the world.

Why Do Guys Talk About Themselves So Much on Dates?
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It’s pretty common for guys to talk about themselves a lot on dates.

Some might do it because they’re nervous and want to make sure they have something to say.

Others might do it because they want to impress the person they’re with.

And sometimes it’s because they’re just really self-centered.

There are a few possible explanations for this phenomenon.

For one, it could simply be a case of nerves. When we’re nervous, we tend to babble on in an attempt to fill the awkward silence.

This is especially true for guys, who are often socialized to believe that they need to be the “strong and silent type.” Talking too much on a date may be a guy’s way of compensating for his nerves.

The second is that guys simply enjoy talking about themselves.

We live in a culture that values individualism and self-promotion.

Iit’s no surprise that men would feel comfortable talking about their own lives and accomplishments.

On a date, this behavior may come across as arrogant or self-centered, but, likely, the guy is just trying to impress his date.

Finally, guys may talk about themselves so much because they’re hoping to find common ground.

By sharing stories and experiences, they’re trying to establish a connection with the other person.

In some cases, this strategy may work

But often, it just ends up coming across as try-hard and desperate.

If you’re on a date with a guy who can’t seem to stop talking about himself, there’s no need to panic.

Just try to steer the conversation towards other topics – or, if all else fails, politely excuse yourself and call it a night.

Does a Guy Like You If He Talks About Himself?

If a guy talks about himself constantly, it can be a sign that he is interested in you.

He may be trying to make you think more highly of him or make a connection with you.

If he also asks you questions about yourself, it may also be a sign that he is interested in getting to know you better.

However, there is a caveat.

 If a guy only ever talks about himself, it could be a sign that he is self-centered and not really interested in getting to know you (or anyone).

Pay attention to the way he talks to you and how much he asks you about yourself.

If he seems more interested in talking about himself than getting to know you, then he may not be the best guy for you.

Is a Guy A Narcissist If He Talks About Himself A Lot?

Narcissists are known for being self-absorbed, egotistical, and obsessed with their appearance and success.

If a guy talks about himself constantly, it can be a sign that he’s a narcissist.

If your guy friend or partner seems to only ever talk about himself, it might be time to reassess the relationship.

Of course, it’s normal for people to talk about themselves sometimes.

Talking about oneself does not necessarily mean that someone is a narcissist.

In fact, there are many perfectly healthy people who enjoy talking about their accomplishments and experiences.

The key difference is whether or not someone is able to empathize with others.

Also, if they can see things from their perspective.

Narcissists, on the other hand, have difficulty doing this and tend to be chronically self-centered.

Is It a Red Flag When a Guy Only Talks About Himself?

It can be a red flag when a guy only talks about himself.

This could be a sign that he is overly self-centered, which can cause problems in relationships.

If he is not interested in hearing about your life or getting to know you as a person, that’s a clear red flag.

If you find yourself in a conversation with a guy who only talks about himself, try changing the subject or steering the conversation towards topics that are more equal.

 If he continues to only talk about himself, it may be best to move on.

This is someone who is not interested in getting to know you or making any kind of real connection.

He may be using you as a sounding board for his ego.

Or, he may simply not care about anything beyond himself. In either case, it’s not worth your time or energy.

Insecure men sometimes try to prop themselves up by overinflating their egos.

These men can be very possessive and jealous in relationships—definite red flags that you want to avoid.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule.

If you’ve just met someone and he’s nervous, he may not be able to think of anything else to say except for himself. In this case, give him the benefit of the doubt and see if he opens up more as you get to know each other better.

In general, though, it’s a good idea to be wary of guys who only talk about themselves.

Here’s a good video about red flags and guys who talk about themselves too much:

YouTube Video by Johnathan Aslay—Why Do Guys Talk About Themselves So Much?

Do All Guys Talk About Themselves A Lot?

One of the most common complaints women have about men is that they talk about themselves too much.

It’s true, many guys do tend to focus their conversation on themselves.

But that doesn’t mean all guys are like this.

In fact, there are plenty of guys out there who are perfectly capable of engaging in a conversation without making it all about them.

So, if you’re wondering whether or not all guys talk about themselves a lot on dates, the answer is no.

What To Do When a Guy Talks About Himself Too Much

There are several things you can do if you find yourself around a guy who can’t stop talking about himself.

First, ask him questions about something other than himself.

This will help to redirect his focus (at least, temporarily).

Second, try to find common ground.

If you can find something that the two of you have in common, you’ll have an easier time getting him to listen to you instead of talking all the time.

Third, don’t be afraid to change the subject and politely excuse yourself from the conversation.

You can simply say, “You’ll have to excuse me, I need to run to ______.”

Final Thoughts

The good news is that almost anyone can change.

If you really like a guy who talks about himself too much, try to listen and show genuine care about what he is saying. Then, after he has talked for a while, tell him how you feel without blaming him.

A guy who really likes you back will try to cater to at least some of your needs.

Especially those that help him grow as a person.

Related thoughts:

Resources

National Institute of Health (Research on Narcissism)