Pregnancy is a transformative period for any couple.
While the mother undergoes significant physical and emotional changes, the husband too needs to understand his role during this phase. It’s more than just attending doctor’s appointments and painting the nursery.
Here are the most important things husbands should not do during pregnancy:
During his wife’s pregnancy, a husband should not: invalidate her fatigue, miss prenatal appointments, touch her belly without consent, critique her food choices, or amplify anxieties. Husbands should also not make insensitive jokes, dismiss emotions, or take her feelings for granted.
Keep reading for a deep dive into all 21 things husbands should steer clear of during their wife’s pregnancy.
1. The “I’m Tired Too” Syndrome
Avoid saying: “You’re tired? I am too!”
Pregnancy fatigue is unique, and it can be challenging for expecting moms. When your wife expresses her exhaustion, it’s essential to show empathy.
Comparing her fatigue to a bad day at work or a late night out might make her feel invalidated.
Always remember, she’s growing an entire human!
Not only is it physically taxing, but the hormonal shifts can also affect her energy levels drastically.
So, the next time she mentions her tiredness, just be there for her with a comforting word or gesture.
2. Forgetting the Appointments
Not a good look: Missing prenatal classes or doctor’s visits.
Prenatal visits are crucial not just for the baby’s health, but also to ensure the well-being of the mother.
Skipping these can send a message that you’re not involved or concerned. Prioritize these dates. They’re milestones leading up to the arrival of your little one.
Also, attending prenatal classes together can be a bonding experience.
It gives both partners a chance to understand the nuances of childbirth and infant care. Make an effort, show up, and be involved.
3. Scent Overload
Not this please: Wearing strong colognes or bringing home pungent foods.
During pregnancy, a woman’s sense of smell becomes highly sensitive. That cologne you’ve been wearing for years might suddenly become unbearable for her.
It’s also the reason why she might cringe at the aroma of certain foods.
It’s not about giving up your favorite cologne or dish permanently. It’s just a temporary adjustment to make her feel more comfortable.
After all, you wouldn’t want to be the cause of any unnecessary nausea.
4. The Unsolicited Belly Touch
Don’t: Poke, prod, or touch without asking.
The baby bump is not a “touch me” invitation. While you might be curious or eager to feel the baby’s kicks, always ask for permission before making contact.
Her body is undergoing changes, and she might be feeling sensitive or protective about her bump.
Remember, consent is vital, even in intimate relationships. Respect her space and boundaries.
Always communicate and ensure she’s comfortable with any physical interaction.
5. Food Police Mode
Don’t become: The unsolicited nutritionist.
While it’s essential for pregnant women to eat healthily, it doesn’t give anyone the license to monitor or comment on every bite she takes.
Avoid making remarks like, “Should you be eating that?” or “That’s too much sugar.”
Trust her judgment.
After all, she’s as invested in the well-being of the baby as you are, if not more.
Provide healthy options, sure, but let her enjoy her cravings once in a while without the guilt trip.
6. Playing the Anxiety Amplifier
Stop: Overloading her with worst-case scenarios.
It’s natural to have concerns during pregnancy. However, bombarding her with every possible thing that could go wrong isn’t helpful.
Avoid sharing negative stories or stressing about every little detail.
Instead, be the calming force in her life.
Focus on positive stories, read up together, and always remember, stress isn’t good for either of you.
7. Inflexible Planner
Steer clear: Of being too rigid with plans.
With the changing dynamics of her body, flexibility becomes key. Maybe she’s not up for that movie night out or the long-planned beach day.
It’s essential to understand and be adaptable.
Keep plans fluid, always check in with her before finalizing anything, and remember, there’s always a next time.
8. Jokester Gone Wrong
Watch out: Not every joke will land.
Humor is subjective, and during pregnancy, emotions can run high. That innocent joke about her baby bump might not go down as well as you’d expect.
It’s important to tread lightly and be sensitive.
Always prioritize her feelings over getting a laugh. If you sense she’s not in the mood, save the joke for another day.
9. Ignoring the Small Things
Remember: Little gestures go a long way.
During pregnancy, it’s often the little things that count.
Offering to massage her feet, drawing a relaxing bath, or just making her a cup of tea can work wonders.
It’s not always about grand gestures. It’s the daily acts of kindness that show you’re there for her every step of the way.
10. Underestimating Hormones
Keep in mind: It’s not “just hormones.”
The hormonal roller coaster during pregnancy is real. There will be highs and lows, and sometimes, seemingly no reason for tears or mood swings.
Dismissing her feelings as “just hormones” can be hurtful.
Always be compassionate. Remember, understanding and patience are your best allies during these times.
11. The Lone Decision Maker
Avoid: Making significant decisions without her.
Whether it’s choosing the baby’s name or picking out nursery colors, make decisions together.
It’s a shared journey, and both voices should be heard.
Involving her in every step reinforces the idea that you’re in this together, strengthening the bond between you two.
12. Silence Isn’t Always Golden
Not This: Stoic silence during pregnancy is a big no-no.
Instead, share your feelings. While it’s essential to be strong for her, it’s equally crucial to express your emotions.
She’d want to know your fears, hopes, and dreams for the future.
By sharing, you make the journey more inclusive.
Open communication builds a foundation for the future, ensuring that both of you feel heard and valued.
13. Stopping All Intimacy
Monk Mode: Keep the spark alive in safe and comfortable ways.
While certain types of physical intimacy might need adjustment during pregnancy, it’s essential not to distance yourself entirely.
With her doctor’s go-ahead, find ways to connect and be close.
Remember, intimacy isn’t just about physical connection. It’s about emotional bonding, understanding, and spending quality time together.
14. “You’re Overreacting” Trap
Tread carefully: During pregnancy (and always, really), validate her feelings.
Telling a pregnant woman she’s overreacting can be a recipe for disaster. Instead, be a listening ear, even if you don’t fully understand her perspective.
Validating feelings doesn’t mean you always agree.
It simply means you recognize her emotions as valid and essential.
15. Being Absent
Be present: Physically and emotionally.
It’s not just about being there at the big moments but also the mundane ones. Whether it’s a craving run at midnight or simply being there for a chat, your presence makes a difference.
Being involved and engaged shows you’re committed to the journey, not just the destination.
16. Take Her For Granted
Don’t overlook: The small things she does or forget to acknowledge her experience.
Your wife is growing another human being, and that’s no small feat.
While she might make it look easy (or sometimes not-so-easy), don’t mistake her resilience for effortlessness.
Carrying a baby is physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing, and every small thing she does during this period is magnified by the weight of her responsibilities.
Taking her for granted during this sensitive phase can put a dent in her emotional well-being.
Make it a point to appreciate her, even for the “small” things—like keeping up with her prenatal vitamins, or the extra care she takes in meal planning.
Acknowledge her sacrifices and the changes she’s going through.
Even a simple “thank you” or “you’re doing amazing” can go a long way in making her feel valued and loved.
17. The “It’s Just a Phase” Misstep
Never say: “It’s just a phase, you’ll get over it.”
Every stage of pregnancy, with its unique challenges and joys, is valid and significant for an expectant mother.
While some symptoms or emotions might indeed be temporary, brushing them off as just a phase can feel dismissive.
Respect each moment for what it is.
Instead of minimizing her feelings, assure her that you’re right by her side, phase by phase, experiencing this journey together.
Be her anchor, her constant, amidst all the ever-changing waves of pregnancy.
18. The Sleep Disrupter
Zzz Mistakes: Watching loud TV late into the night or setting early alarms.
A good night’s sleep becomes more vital (and sometimes elusive) during pregnancy.
If she’s managed to find a comfortable sleeping position, try not to disrupt it with loud sounds or unnecessary lights.
Consider investing in earphones for your late-night entertainment sessions or reading with a personal light.
If you have early morning routines, be as silent as a cat on a mission. Helping her maintain her sleep cycle will be beneficial for both her and the baby.
19. Neglecting Self-Care
You matter too: Don’t forget your well-being.
While supporting your wife is paramount, you shouldn’t neglect your own well-being.
If you’re stressed, anxious, or overworked, it can indirectly affect her mood and health as well.
Take time out for yourself.
Engage in activities that rejuvenate you. It’s essential for both of you to be in the best shape, mentally, and physically.
A strong, relaxed, and healthy partner can offer better support and share in the joys more actively.
20. The Unsolicited Advice Giver
Avoid being: The person who knows it all.
Yes, it’s great to read up and be informed. However, constantly giving unsolicited advice or saying things like “I read that you should…” can be overwhelming for her.
Instead, share your newfound knowledge in a conversational manner, inviting her thoughts and opinions.
It’s about learning together and making informed choices as a team, not dictating every step based on the latest blog you stumbled upon.
21. Missing the Magic Moments
Stay connected: To the wonder of it all.
Between the appointments, preparations, and everyday life, don’t forget to pause and appreciate the magic of pregnancy.
Feel the baby kicks, talk to the bump, and daydream about your future family days.
These are fleeting moments that won’t come back. Cherishing them will create memories that you’ll both fondly look back on, long after your little one has outgrown their crib.
10 Things Husbands Should Not Say During Pregnancy
Navigating the waters of communication during pregnancy is vital.
And, well, kind of tricky.
With emotions running high and hormonal changes aplenty, it’s essential for husbands to tread with sensitivity and compassion.
Here’s a list of things better left unsaid:
- “Are you sure you should be eating that?”
Diet during pregnancy is essential, but commenting on her food choices can come off as judgmental. It’s best to trust her judgment and support her needs.
- “You’re being overly emotional.”
Attributing her feelings to just hormones or pregnancy can feel dismissive. Always validate her emotions without making them seem insignificant.
- “You look like you’ve gained more than you should.”
Body image can be a sensitive topic during pregnancy. Focus on her well-being and avoid comments that might make her self-conscious.
- “Can’t it wait until after the baby?”
Whether it’s a craving or a nesting instinct kicking in, try not to postpone her needs. Being supportive is paramount.
- “It can’t be that bad.”
Comparing or diminishing her experiences can feel invalidating. Every pregnancy is unique, and her feelings and symptoms are valid.
- “Do you really need another nap?”
Fatigue during pregnancy is common. Let her rest when she needs to, and understand that her body is working overtime.
- “My friend’s wife didn’t have that issue.”
Avoid comparing her pregnancy experience with others. Every woman’s body and pregnancy journey is different.
- “I miss the old you.”
While changes during pregnancy can be challenging, it’s crucial to be understanding. She’s undergoing a transformation, both physically and emotionally.
- “Are you sure that’s normal?”
Questioning her experiences can make her anxious. If there are genuine concerns, approach them with care and suggest seeing a healthcare professional together.
- “You’re always complaining.”
Pregnancy can be tough, and voicing out concerns or discomforts is natural. Listen and be there for her without making her feel guilty about expressing herself.
Here is a great video on things a husband should never say to his pregnant wife or partner:
Final Thoughts: Things Husbands Should Not Do During Pregnancy
In the grand symphony of pregnancy, husbands can sometimes feel like they’re playing second fiddle.
But remember, it’s the supportive notes and harmonious gestures that make the music resonate deeply. So, while there might be a few missteps along the way, always strive to keep the rhythm of love, understanding, and patience alive.
After all, it’s a duet that’s best played in tune. 🎶🤰🎻
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