If you want a guy to fall for you (or to just feel amazingly special), you’ve got to give him butterflies.
You know, those tiny tingly sensations of love, appreciation, and joy.
Here’s how to give a guy butterflies:
Give a guy butterflies with your undivided attention, vulnerability, femininity, physical presence, and words of affirmation. Use psychology, social proof, and subtle body language cues to instantly give him butterflies. Deepen his feelings by matching his core values and love language.
In this ultimate guide, you’ll learn 21 easy ways to give a guy butterflies (or the whole dang zoo ;).
21 Ways To Give a Guy Butterflies
With these 21 tips, you’ll learn how to make him feel like the luckiest man in the world, every day.
But what exactly are “butterflies”? It’s that feeling of excitement, joy, and nervousness you get in your stomach when you’re around someone you care about.
And the good news is, you don’t have to be a mind reader to give a guy those same feelings.
So, buckle up and get ready to learn how to make your guy’s heart flutter.
1) Give Him Your Undivided Attention
One of the most important ways to give a guy butterflies is to give him your undivided attention.
In today’s world, where we are constantly surrounded by distractions, it can be difficult to focus on one thing for a significant amount of time.
However, if you want to show a guy that he has your full attention, it’s crucial to put away your phone, make eye contact, and actively listen to what he has to say.
When you give someone your undivided attention, you are sending a message that they are important and valued.
Don’t underestimate how much this can give a guy butterflies.
By putting away your phone, you are showing that you are present in the moment and that you value the conversation you are having. Additionally, making eye contact shows that you are engaged and interested in what the person has to say.
Active listening is also a crucial component of giving someone your undivided attention.
This means not just hearing what they have to say, but actively trying to understand and respond to their words. This can involve asking follow-up questions, nodding your head, and making appropriate facial expressions.
When someone feels heard and understood, they are more likely to open up and feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
2) Vulnerability: Sharing Your Insecurities
Vulnerability is a powerful tool when it comes to giving a guy butterflies.
When you share your own vulnerabilities and insecurities with a guy, it allows him to feel closer to you and see a more authentic and relatable side of you.
This can create a deeper connection and help to build trust in your relationship.
Sharing your vulnerabilities can be a scary thing, especially if you’re used to keeping your feelings to yourself. However, it’s important to remember that everyone has insecurities and fears, and being open about them can actually bring you closer together.
By sharing your own vulnerabilities, you are allowing the guy to see a more vulnerable and human side of you, which can make him feel more connected and attracted to you.
Plus, most men secretly crave to feel like a strong protector.
When you show your vulnerable side, a guy sees an opportunity to step into this role in your life. It is a wonderful gift to give him.
Here are some tips for sharing your vulnerabilities with a guy:
- Start small. You don’t have to dive into your deepest fears and insecurities right away. Start by sharing something small and see how he reacts.
- Be honest. Be authentic and honest about your feelings. Don’t try to sugarcoat or hide your insecurities, as this can create distance.
- Choose the right moment. Make sure you choose a time and place where you feel comfortable and safe. You want to make sure you’re in a supportive and understanding environment.
- Be prepared for his response. Be prepared for his response, and remember that he may have his own vulnerabilities that he’s struggling with as well.
3) Femininity: Embracing Your Natural Beauty
Embracing your femininity and letting your natural beauty shine is another powerful way to give a guy butterflies.
Whether it’s through your fashion choices, makeup, or simply being yourself, being comfortable in your own skin can make a guy feel attracted and captivated.
Femininity is about embracing your natural qualities and features, and not being afraid to show them off.
This can mean wearing designer clothes, working out, doing yoga, wearing makeup that enhances your natural beauty, or simply being confident and comfortable.
Here are some tips for embracing your femininity:
- Wear clothes that make you feel confident. Choose clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. Whether it’s a cute dress or a pair of jeans, wear what makes you feel good.
- Enhance your natural beauty. Whether it’s through makeup, skincare, nutrition, or simply being comfortable with your natural features, embrace your beauty and let it shine.
- Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Embrace your unique qualities and let your personality shine through.
- Be positive and non-pushy. Confidence is the key to embracing your femininity. However, don’t move into pushy or bossy territory.
4) Physical Proximity: Give Him Butterflies Through Physical Touch
Physical proximity can play a significant role in creating butterflies in a relationship.
Studies have shown that the closer we are to someone, the more emotional and familiar we start to feel.
Whether it’s a hug, a touch on the arm, or simply standing close, physical proximity can create a deeper connection and help to strengthen the bond between two people.
In a romantic relationship, physical touch is especially important.
A simple hug or touch on the arm can show the guy that you care and are thinking of him. It can also create a deeper emotional connection, making him feel more comfortable and secure in the relationship.
Here are some examples of ways to use physical proximity to give a guy butterflies:
- Give him a tight hug when you see him
- Hold his hand while walking or sitting
- Touch his arm or shoulder when talking to him
- Stand close to him when speaking or when in a group
5) Words of Affirmation: Give Him Butterflies Through Positive Verbal Praise
Words of affirmation are a powerful tool in any relationship.
They can help to make the guy feel appreciated, valued, and loved. Whether it’s telling him what you admire about him, expressing gratitude for his actions, or simply letting him know how much he means to you, words of affirmation can have a significant impact.
In a relationship, it’s important to recognize and acknowledge the efforts and contributions of your partner.
By using words of affirmation, you are showing that you are aware of these efforts and that you value them. You might be surprised how a few words can completely change his day and perspective on you.
Here are some examples of ways to use words of affirmation to give a guy butterflies:
- Express gratitude for his actions or efforts
- Tell him what you admire about him
- Let him know how much he means to you
- Compliment his appearance or personal qualities
- Express appreciation for his contributions to the relationship.
Related: These phrases get him obsessed – Obsession Phrase Master List (w/ 40 Full Examples)
6) Psychological Mirroring
One of the most effective ways to give a guy butterflies is by using psychological mirroring, also known as mirroring his body language.
This technique involves mimicking the gestures, posture, and body language of the other person (the dude).
When done correctly, psychological mirroring can create a sense of rapport and make the person feel more comfortable and connected to you.
The reason this works so well is that people in rapport naturally mirror each other (body language, speech patterns, etc).
By mirroring, you are essentially “hijacking” this normal human process for connection.
Here are some tips on how to use psychological mirroring to give a guy butterflies:
- Observe his body language. Pay attention to the way he holds himself, the gestures he makes, and the expressions on his face.
- Mirror his body language. Gradually start to adopt similar postures and gestures. Be subtle and avoid mimicking him too closely.
- Pay attention to timing. Make sure to mirror his body language at the right moment, for example, after he crosses his legs, you pause, wait a few seconds, and then slowly cross your legs, too.
One of the reasons why psychological mirroring works so well is that it creates a sense of rapport and makes the person feel like you are on the same wavelength.
By mimicking the person’s body language, you are sending a nonverbal message that you understand and accept them.
7) Creating Anticipation With Adrenaline Spikes
Another way to give a guy butterflies is by creating anticipation with adrenaline spikes.
Adrenaline is a hormone that is released in response to excitement and anticipation. When adrenaline levels are high, it creates a rush of excitement and can make someone feel more alive and invigorated.
According to published scientific studies, men and women subconsciously associate this rush of “butterfly” feelings with the person closest to them.
And that person can be you.
Here are some ways to create adrenaline spikes and give a guy butterflies:
- Plan an exciting activity. Plan a date or outing that will get his heart racing and create an adrenaline spike. This can be anything from skydiving to a concert or a hot air balloon ride.
- Be spontaneous. Surprise him with a spontaneous date or outing. This can be as simple as taking him on a picnic in the park or cooking him a special meal at home.
- Create mystery. Keep him guessing and create an air of mystery and anticipation. Tell him about yourself but not everything and not all at once.
8) Positive Reinforcement (Classical Conditioning for Butterfly Feelings)
Positive reinforcement is a technique that is used in psychology to encourage a desired behavior by rewarding it.
This technique can also be used to give a guy butterflies by creating positive associations with you.
Here’s how to use positive reinforcement to give a guy butterflies:
- Identify what he likes. Take the time to understand what he enjoys and what makes him feel good. This could be anything from a particular activity to a specific type of food.
- Reinforce positive behavior. Whenever he does something that you like or that makes you happy, reward him with a positive comment or a small gesture. For example, if he buys you flowers, tell him how much you appreciate it.
- Create a positive cycle. Continuously reinforce positive behavior and create a cycle of positive reinforcement. This will make him feel good and create a strong association between his actions and your positive response.
9) Anchor the Butterfly Feelings Forever
Now, take it a step further by linking (associating) the butterfly feeling with an anchor.
Yes, combine this concept with #7 (Spike Adrenaline) and #8 (Positive Reinforcement) to power blast him into a butterfly sanctuary. When you master this one tip, you can give him butterflies on command.
Have you ever noticed how certain memories or experiences can bring back strong emotions, even years later?
This phenomenon is known as anchoring, and it can be used to anchor positive emotions in a relationship.
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) anchoring involves creating a strong emotional connection between a specific action or touch and a positive feeling. By consistently pairing the two, the positive feeling becomes associated with the action or touch, creating a “shortcut” to those emotions.
Here are some ways to use NLP anchoring to anchor butterfly feelings in a relationship:
- Create a special touch. Choose a touch that you both enjoy, such as a hug or a squeeze of the hand, and consistently pair it with positive emotions and feelings (aka, those butterflies). Over time, the touch will become a shortcut to those emotions, making it easier to bring them back even when you’re not together.
- Use special words or phrases. Choose words or phrases that have positive associations for both of you and consistently use them in positive contexts. Over time, these words or phrases will become associated with butterfly feelings, making it easier to bring them back.
By consistently pairing specific actions or words with positive emotions, you can create a strong emotional connection that will endure even when you’re apart.
10) Social Proof-atize Him (Get His Friends To Love and Support You)
Social proof is the idea that people are more likely to do something if they see others doing it.
This can be especially powerful in relationships, where having the support of friends and family can make a big difference.
Here are some ways to use social proof to give a guy butterflies:
- Get to know his friends. Spend time getting to know the people who are important to him, and make a positive impression on them. When his friends and family like and support him, it can increase his feelings of security and happiness in the relationship.
- Show that you’re a good match. Show that you share common interests and values with his friends and family. When they see that you are a good match for each other, it can increase their support for the relationship and make them feel more confident about your future together.
- Make a positive impression on his friends. Make a positive impression on his friends by being friendly, kind, and approachable. When his friends see how much he likes you, it can increase their support for the relationship and make him feel more confident about your future together.
11) Body Language Butterflies (Give Him Butterflies Without Talking)
Body language can be a powerful way to communicate emotions and feelings, even without speaking.
But you must use the right nonverbal signals to make it happen.
Here are some ways to use body language to give a guy butterflies:
- Smile when you see him. A genuine smile is one of the most powerful ways to communicate positive emotions and feelings. When you smile at someone, it sends a message that you are happy, friendly, and approachable. Make sure to smile big whenever you see him.
- Make strong eye contact. Making eye contact is a powerful way to show someone that you are interested in what they have to say. When you look someone in the eye, it sends a message that you are confident and engaged, and it can give butterflies. Give him intense eye contact that lingers just a little bit longer than usual.
- Expose your neck and wrists. These are subconscious signals of vulnerability that spark a man’s innate desire to protect and defend.
12) Match His Core Values
Matching the guy’s core values is a powerful way to deepen his feelings for you.
When you share the same values, beliefs, and interests, it creates a strong emotional connection that can give him butterflies. Whether it’s a shared passion for environmentalism, a love of adventure, or a commitment to family, finding common ground can create a bond that lasts a lifetime.
For example, if you both love the outdoors, you can plan a weekend camping trip together.
You can also volunteer together at a local environmental organization, or take a hike and discuss your shared values and experiences.
By taking an active interest in the things that are important to him, you are showing him that you respect and value what he cares about.
Here are a few tips for matching a guy’s core values:
- Ask him questions about what he values and what’s important to him.
- Share your own values and experiences.
- Plan activities that align with his values and interests.
- Show genuine interest in what he has to say and listen actively.
13) Match His Love Language
Discovering the guy’s love language is another way to give him butterflies.
Everyone has a unique love language and showing love and affection in the way that he feels most appreciated can deepen his feelings for you.
According to author Gary Chapman, the five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
For example, if his love language is physical touch, you can give him a hug or hold his hand when you’re out in public.
If his love language is words of affirmation, you can tell him how much you appreciate him and what he does for you. If his love language is quality time, you can plan a date night or a weekend getaway where you can spend quality time together.
Here are a few tips for discovering a guy’s love language:
- Ask him about his love language.
- Observe how he shows love and affection to others.
- Pay attention to what he responds to and what makes him feel appreciated.
- Show love and affection in the way that he feels most appreciated.
14) Tap Into His Inner Goofball
Being playful and having fun with the guy is another way to give him butterflies.
Whether it’s through humor, lighthearted teasing, or playful physical touch, having a sense of humor can create a bond that lasts a lifetime. By being playful, you’re showing him that you’re confident, relaxed, and comfortable around him.
For example, you can tease him in a playful way, make funny faces, or playfully push him.
You can also tell jokes or share funny stories. Being playful can also involve tickling, light play wrestling, or dancing.
Here are a few tips for being playful:
- Show your sense of humor.
- Lightheartedly tease him.
- Play with him and have fun.
- Use physical touch in a playful way.
15) Surround Him With Symbols of Romance
When it comes to giving a guy butterflies, creating a romantic atmosphere can be a powerful tool.
Surrounding him with symbols of love and affection, such as music, stickers, quotes, and images, can instantly put him in a romantic mood and make him feel appreciated.
Here are some tips for using symbols of romance:
- Play romantic music in the background when you’re together. This can be anything from classical music to love songs, as long as it sets a romantic mood.
- Decorate your shared space with romantic stickers, posters, or quotes. This can be anything from heart-shaped stickers to love quotes written on the wall.
- Use images to create a romantic atmosphere. For example, you can use images of hearts, flowers, or other symbols of love to decorate your shared space.
The idea behind using symbols of romance is to create a romantic atmosphere that he can’t help but be drawn into. When he’s surrounded by these symbols, he’ll feel appreciated and loved (even if he doesn’t know why), and it will give him butterflies.
16) Psst…Share Secrets Together
Sharing secrets and personal information with someone can create an intense sense of togetherness.
When you share a secret with him, he feels the positive weight of your trust. He gets an inside track to you that is rare and exclusive. Guys eat that up.
Here are some tips for sharing secrets with your guy:
- Choose secrets that are meaningful and personal to you. This could be anything from your childhood memories to your deepest fears.
- Share your secrets in a safe and intimate setting. This could be at home, on a walk, or in a quiet place where you can talk privately.
- Listen to his secrets as well and show genuine interest and empathy.
17) Wear The Colors of Attraction
Color psychology plays a big role in attraction, and wearing the right color can make a guy feel drawn to you. One of the most powerful colors when it comes to attraction is red.
Here are some tips for using red to your advantage:
- Wear red clothing or accessories, such as a red dress or a red scarf.
- Use red lipstick or nail polish to draw attention to your lips and hands.
- Incorporate red accents into your makeup or hairstyle, such as red earrings or a red headband.
The color red is associated with passion, energy, and excitement, and it can instantly make a guy feel drawn to you.
By wearing red, you are sending a message that you are confident, adventurous, and attractive, and it will give him butterflies.
18) Use the “Left Eye Trick”
Eye contact is a powerful tool when it comes to attraction, and staring into someone’s left eye can have a profound effect on their feelings.
The “left eye trick” is a technique that involves making eye contact with someone’s left eye, which is thought to be the side of the brain that processes emotions.
Here are some tips for using the “left eye trick”:
- When talking to your guy, make eye contact with his left eye for a few seconds at a time.
- Use this technique during meaningful conversations, such as when you’re sharing secrets or telling him how you feel.
- Use your body language to show genuine interest and engagement, such as leaning in or nodding your head.
19) Take Him To Butterfly Mountain
Going to places that have special meaning to him will give him butterflies.
These places could be his childhood home, his favorite park, or other spaces completely customized to him. By visiting these places, you are bringing back happy memories and emotions that are associated with them.
It’s a simple way to give him butterflies and create a special bond between the two of you.
Examples of places that might bring back fond memories for him include:
- Childhood home
- Favorite park or playground
- School or university
- First concert or movie theater
An ex-girlfriend once took me to the arcade where I used to play as a kid. She told me it was so much fun to see me reminisce about the good old days and relive some of my childhood memories.
I was so happy and it gave me a burst of butterflies to be in that place again.
Tips for taking a guy to Butterfly Mountain:
- Ask him about his favorite places from his childhood or teenage years
- Plan a surprise trip to one of these places
- Make sure to bring along items that will help him relive those memories, like a childhood toy or a favorite snack
- Don’t forget to take lots of photos to capture the moment and create more happy memories
20) Apply Yo-Yo Psychology
The push-pull technique of creating rapport and then breaking it can create a rollercoaster of tension that gives him butterflies.
This yo-yo psychology is a powerful tool to use in your relationship.
By being close and then pulling away, you can create a sense of anticipation and excitement that will keep him on his toes.
Examples of yo-yo psychology:
- Give him a compliment and then tease him
- Show interest in him and then play hard to get
- Give him a hug and then pull away
One of my good friends used this you-yo technique to get her current boyfriend. She would be all lovey-dovey one moment and then playfully tease him the next.
It kept things exciting and gives both of them butterflies.
Tips for applying yo-yo psychology:
- Practice balance in your interactions with him
- Know when to turn up the heat and when to cool down
- Be playful and have fun with it
- Don’t overdo it and keep the push-pull technique in moderation
21) Novel Experiences Give Butterflies
Doing new things together is a great way to give him butterflies.
Novel experiences release dopamine in the brain, which is the hormone associated with pleasure and excitement. By doing new things together, you are creating happy memories and an endless stream of beautiful butterflies.
Examples of novel experiences:
- Trying a new restaurant
- Going to a new city or country
- Enjoying a new hobby together like rock climbing or painting
- Going to a concert or show you’ve never seen before
Any time I do something new, I feel those fluttering butterflies of excitement. Might as well feel them with someone.
Tips for giving him butterflies with novel experiences:
- Get creative and think outside the box
- Plan a surprise adventure for him
- Make sure to take lots of photos to capture the moment and create more happy memories
- Be open to trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone
Here is a great video compilation that shares even more ways to make guys melt and give them butterflies:
What To Say To Give a Guy Butterflies
You can use certain words and phrases to trigger instant butterflies in almost any guy.
Here’s a list of 10 things a girl can say to a guy to give him butterflies:
- “I love the passion you have for your work, it’s so inspiring.” (Compliments and Validation)
- “I have a crush on your sense of humor.” (Compliments and Appreciation)
- “I feel like I can be myself around you.” (Vulnerability and Trust)
- “I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about your favorite hobby.” (Observance and Interest)
- “I love how you always know the right thing to say.” (Compliments and Empathy)
- “I feel like we have a special connection.” (Intimacy and Emotional Connection)
- “You make me feel so safe and comfortable.” (Safety and Comfort)
- “I appreciate how you always listen to me and understand me.” (Active Listening and Understanding)
- “I love how you always know how to make me smile.” (Humor and Joy)
- “You have such a unique and interesting perspective on things.” (Compliments and Differentiation)
In parenthesis, I indicated how that sentence leverages one or more psychological principles of attraction to give him butterflies.
Check out Obsession Phrases to learn even more ways to give him butterflies with your words.
How To Give a Guy Butterflies Over the Phone
Giving a guy butterflies over the phone can be a bit challenging, as you don’t have the advantage of body language and nonverbal cues.
However, with the right approach, you can still create a strong emotional connection with him.
Here are some tips on how to give a guy butterflies over the phone:
- Pay attention to your tone of voice. Your tone of voice can convey a lot of emotions and can help set the mood for the conversation. Speak in a warm and friendly tone, and be sure to use inflections that convey excitement and interest.
- Listen actively. Pay close attention to what he’s saying and engage in the conversation. Ask follow-up questions and show genuine interest in what he has to say. This will make him feel heard and appreciated.
- Use compliments. Compliments are a great way to make someone feel good. Tell him what you admire about him, and focus on his positive qualities.
- Share personal anecdotes. Sharing personal anecdotes can help to build a deeper connection with him. It shows that you’re comfortable with him and that you trust him enough to be vulnerable.
- Show appreciation. Show appreciation for the things he does for you, and let him know that you’re grateful for his presence in your life. This will make him feel valued and loved.
- Create intimacy. Use playful and flirtatious language to create intimacy and build a connection with him. Be playful, lighthearted, and fun.
- Use humor. Humor can be a great way to lighten the mood and make the conversation more enjoyable. Share jokes, funny stories, and be silly with him.
- Build excitement. Build excitement for the next time you’ll see each other. Talk about plans for the future, and make him feel like he’s a part of your life.
By using these tips, you can give a guy butterflies over the phone and create a strong emotional connection with him.
How To Give a Guy Butterflies Over Text
Giving a guy butterflies over text can be a great way to build a connection with him and make him feel special. Here are some tips on how to do it:
- Anticipation. Building anticipation is a great way to give a guy butterflies. By leaving a conversation open-ended or making plans for the future, you create a sense of excitement and anticipation for what’s to come.
- Use emojis and emotions. Emojis and emotions are a great way to convey your feelings in a text message. Use them to show your excitement, happiness, or even your flirtatious side.
- Initiate conversations sometimes. Don’t always wait for him to initiate the conversation. Take the lead and start a text conversation, whether it’s asking him how his day is going or sending a flirty message.
Here are a few text message examples to help you get started:
- “Can’t wait to see you tonight! 😍”
- “Just thinking about you and wanted to say hi 💕”
- “What are you up to today? Maybe we can make plans for the weekend 🤔”
- “Saw this funny meme and thought of you 😆”
- “Missing you already 💔”
How To Give a Guy Butterflies Instantly
These are the instant methods for giving him butterflies:
- Match his personal preferences for attraction.
- Do something fun and exciting to keep things fresh.
- Try something new to create a sense of excitement and anticipation.
The key is to match his personal preferences for attraction and do something fun, exciting, and new to him.
Here’s how with a few more details.
Match his personal preferences. Understanding what a guy finds attractive is crucial to giving him instant butterflies. Take the time to get to know his likes and dislikes and what makes him feel special.
Keeping things fresh and exciting is key to giving a guy butterflies.
Whether it’s going on an adventure, trying a new activity, or doing something spontaneous, the goal is to create a sense of excitement and anticipation.
Exploring unfamiliar things can range from sampling a different cuisine, touring a unique destination, or developing a fresh ability.
Doing something new creates a sense of excitement and anticipation, which is sure to give a guy butterflies.
How To Know If You Give a Guy Butterflies
When it comes to knowing if you give a guy butterflies, there are certain signs to look out for.
Here’s a list of the most common signs that a guy is buzzing with butterflies over you:
- He constantly smiles and laughs when he’s around you.
- He makes an effort to spend time with you.
- He seems nervous or fidgety when he’s around you.
- He compliments you frequently.
- He makes an effort to listen to you and engage in conversation.
- He seems distracted or preoccupied when you’re not around.
- He gets excited when he sees you or hears from you.
- He seems to go out of his way to do things for you.
- He gets flustered or nervous when he’s talking to you.
- He can’t stop thinking about you even when you’re not together.
If you notice any of these signs, it’s a good indication that you give a guy butterflies.
Just remember that everyone expresses their feelings differently, so the way a guy shows that he’s got butterflies may differ from person to person. But if you notice any of these signs, it’s a good indication that he’s feeling those flutters.
Final Thoughts: Ways To Give a Guy Butterflies
Butterflies are one thing but you can also make him obsessed with you.
I’ve put together a list of the best articles to help you do just that. Check them out in the bulleted list below.
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- How To Date a Celebrity (11 Ways That Really Work)
- How To Get a Guy Back After Ghosting Him (9 Real Ways)